I guess, telling people about how there “friends” lie to them does nothing for me. When I’m the one being the nice one, explaining and showing what the problem is. Even though I’m there telling my friends that there being lied to, and they don’t seem to care at all. Getting treated like shit, lied to, lead on, used, taken advantaged of (by a girl because I was drunk), all in 2 days. Great shit is going on in my life right now. Also, October 16th 2004, I was told about my real father, just remembered that last night, when I was crying, alone, thinking about how people love to do all of the above to me. Why do I get treated like shit, when I’m the one trying to help people, when I’m the one sitting there listening to everyone else complaining, when I’m sitting there with a friend in my arms cause there crying, when I confess to a friend that there being lied to? I have no idea what to do any more. Sitting here alone on my computer, listening to music, or playing video games, isn’t a great to be living. I mean I have it better then others, but I hate being alone, I need a girl in my life, knowing I have some one to hold, be my best friend, always be there for me. Why can’t I find that girl? Why am I so weak emotionally? Why cant’ I stand up for my self? Why can’t I just be happy? I mean I’m really nice and funny and cute, but I seem to let people walk all over me. I don’t know what I need to do, to make myself like; I don’t know the word, different? I have no idea what do say/do any more. I need help, I need advice, I need a girl friend, I need to be happy, I just need some one to be there. 6:00PM