today was a bad day. i am too chicken to even go and see if matt maybe would be there after school. i really do still like him but what if he doesn't like me or he already has another girlfriend or something. but then agian, what if he still like me too? what if he feels the same? i don't know what to do and at the moment (like every moment in my life), i don't have anyone to talk about it with. i really have no friends. i mean there are people i hang out with, but no one really. and all i can think about is how people probably look at the bad parts of me. i have no self-confidence when i am at school, around stupid kids my age. who would want to be friends with anyone at school anyway. everyone is smoking or drinking or every other thing that is wrong in this world. people suck. yes i say that a lot but come on, people do. they do things intentionally to piss you off or they go out of the way to make you feel bad. why? so i got my report card and i got a B+, A+, B+, A, C+, and a C. so that averages out to a GPA of 3.222. pretty good right? well i get home, my step-dad is like "well i know that you can do better, but i am not mad" and i talked to my mom for a second about it and she said "that's not good" and i already know what my freakin dad and step-mom will say about..."you know that you didn't even try and you don't study. you need to work harder and stop listening to BAD music" and just to let you who read this now, there idea of BAD music is Good Charlotte, New Found Glory, etc. wow. it took ashlie long enough to figure out that we have NOTHING in common and that i can't really stand her. but she firgured it out and she is "sad" about it. she asked me "aren't you even sad or mad about this?" and i thought, wow i have only been trying to tell you that we aren't really friends since LAST YEAR, so no i am not mad...i was mad a year ago. ok so now she thinks that i am depressed and that i need help. she is the psycho/eating disorder one and I need help! right? well i am having fun listening to GC finally, i have only been waiting all day to listen to it. well i am gonna go.