It's been over 24 hours since I've had anything that contained calories. I'm a little dizzy, but mostly, my head just feels uber-heavy. I know there's no way I'm getting out of eating dinner tonight, but I'm sure I can have only one slice of pizza instead of two. That's gross. I know for a fact, though, that I can go 48 hours without eating anything, starting after dinner tonight. I skip breakfast and lunch every day, and on Wednesdays, I'm at the shop, and they have burgers. So I tell my mother I'm eating there and I tell the kids there that I ate at home, and no one suspects otherwise. Tim today, totally unprovoked, told me that I need to go home and eat because I'm too skinny. I pulled away from him and stared at him skeptically. Too skinny? Is he kidding? I'm almost 115 pounds again, and I'm only 5'2". But whatever. I'll get into that another day. This is basically me telling you that you don't want to ask me out. Again. Because Ryan had a conversation with you, and you said fine, you'd do it, and now I'm terrified that I'm going to do something wrong and we're going to lose something good. What about friendship? What about everything we've done in the last year? Over a year? And we're going to throw that away... for what? For something that isn't going to change anything at all between us? It doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm in denial. Let's be honest for a moment, though, okay? Can you blame me for being in denial? I mean, come on. I've spent the last year and two months of my life waiting for you, and now you decide it might be a good idea to try something? I'm thrilled, really, and because I'm so thrilled, I'm searching for reasons why this shouldn't happen. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Don't let me persuade you otherwise.