How You Are In Love You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. You are Agnostic You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

"But if you can look in my eyes And tell me we'll be alright If you promise never to leave You just might make me believe" This silence makes me want to stab out my eyeballs. If you really loved me like you say you do... You'd say something perfect to make it all better.

porchie61989: she's so ........... UGH Miss Cheyennee: YOUR so omfg MILF porchie61989: milf? porchie61989: im not a mom porchie61989: thanks Miss Cheyennee: lol Not YET Miss Cheyennee: but im bound to impregnate you porchie61989: hahahhahah porchie61989: yea

I'm tired of being sick. I don't know how im going to do this.

I talked to R.J today more than I talked to Mike. And R.J is many states away, and Mike is only minutes away. Makes me sad. I can only hope to see him tomorrow. I'm not even worried, Cause I know Mike and I could get through anything. I just, know. There are some things in life you don't have to question. There are some things in life you are certain of.. Mike is the only certainty in my life. He's all i have to look forward to. And thats just, that.

Guess what I'm doing currently? Making a secret journal that noone will know about. teehe.

It's too late for apologies now, You shouldnt of underestimated me.

I think... I have trust issues. I'd Love to believe that mike owuld never love katie and katie woiuld never love mike and thier lips would never toudh and thier hands would never hold... But I've been that stupid before, Twice. And Mike is NOT Nick And he is NOT R.J. But I'm still hurt, and I'm still scared.

In an hour or so, We are putting up our christmas tree. And i am very very excited. A wonderful boy took me to see harry potter last night. it was amazing, even if he was mad at me for my stupid mistakes. Im excited to spend the holidays with him. Very excited. P.S HEY YOU::: PleasepleasepleasePLEASE say something to me to make me smile...

I dont know where I got the razor, And i honestly have no idea how it ended up across my wrist. All i know is i woke up this morning, took a bath, and the cuts were there. And the razor was on my dresser, and the blood was on the napkin. And its not bad, and it will be gone soon. But I am never drinking again. Cause when Im alone, I cant be trusted.

I walking on them. I think we have a chance, and i think its worth it, and i think we'll be fine. But i also think it will tear me apart. Cause it already is. But i dont care, its worth it.

I Understand. But Im tired of attempting. And of dad asking every other hour, "wheres miek?" .....................:(

Im sick. And not the stay at home, oh Im running a fever kind. The kind of sick where i lean over a toliet after i eat.....(when I do eat.) I'm stopping this now, though. Cause I'm way way smarter than this. Christmas is arriving, I already have everybodys gift thought out. My dilemma is Mikes. I have a good range of things i'm getting him. But its just not enough in my eyes. So. On other subjects, I miss mike. I wish i could spend more than an hour with him. I miss summer, Where i was just niave and in love, and that was enough. Being in love is the greatest feeling in the world. <3<3

Its getting a little hard. <3

Its getting a little hard. <3

Positive. Positive. Positive. Thats my way of thinking lately. And I see that it makes a difference. And suddenly I feel even more lucky. Whats your favorite memory?

I trust that boy. And I know he'd never intentionally hurt me. Katies tonight? Drinking tomorrow. Maybe seeing my love on sunday. Im counting the seconds until Sunday. Slight breakdown yesterday. All is well. Dad sold his lawnmower for 800 dollars. He LOVED that thing. And i feel bad that he had to give up something he loved. I'm off on my jobsearch... <3

Lets see... Nothing is really going right. School is turning on me. Home is... hard. Lack of.. everything makes things tense. I'm grateful for the dad that I have. Hardworking and sarcastic. I know his pride is aching. But I know hes trying. Im happy. Extremely happy, despite the obvious. You hold me so far up, Please Don't let me down anymore.

My mom thinks i have OCD. cause i keep EVERYTHING. But really, I just like to have proof, that things actually happened. So then i know I'm not dreaming all of this. Cause my reality isnt always so.. real. Cause lets face it. I have everything i ever wanted. Im a very lucky girl. I never imagined this. And unlike others, i don't take that for granted. Everythings wonderful.

Hmm. Interesting weekend, I must say. I do wish it was better. But I just miss and love you very very much.