I don't know if You can hear me

Or if You're even there

I don't know if You will listen

To a humble prayer

They tell me I am just an outcast

I shouldn't speak to You

Still, I see your face and wonder

Were You once an outcast, too?

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I know my last entry left things on a cliffhanger.

Things have gotten better in some ways and worse in others.

I went to a con with friends. It's the one I go to every summer and it definitely helped me raise my morale and perspective on things as only friends can do. It was also the first drama free one in a long time...which was good. Sure there were small incidents but they were just that - small.

My cousin isn't moving in. Her mother put an end to that crap.

Oh, we got back and we found a place to move into that's reasonable and not bad! So yeah, we're leaving at the end of this month which makes me very happy.

Today I got some scary news. My brother stabbed someone. Yup, you read that correctly. He stabbed someone and my mother was at the police station with him.

I'm nervous. I hope he didn't do it. There's a chance he didn't and is just covering for someone. He's that type of person he'd rather go down than betray a friend...he's very troubled and has been going through things the last year or so. I don't know if he knows how bad our mother's heart is or how much strain he's putting on her.

I'm worried for his future and I'm worried for hers.

One of the good things of my mother having me so young is that she's supposed to be in my life a long time. I don't want that to be cut short because of stress. But on the other hand she could have been more on top of things with him. Damn it.

I think no matter what the outcome today, lives will be ruined. As it stands the boy/victim is in the hospital and they don't know how he's doing / if he'll survive.

If you pray, please pray for my family.