I'm so freaking tired. I've had to work late every night this week, so I've had about four or five hours of sleep for the past couple of nights. On the plus side, I've been promoted to freezer guy officially. More responsibilities, more money. I'm not complaining. On the negative side, I get no sleep and find very little time to do homework. Now for something completely different. This may just be because I'm tired, but I still wonder about this sometimes when I actually have a clear head. Sara and I will have been together for six months come the 19th. And here is the question. What the hell is keeping us together? You see, we haven't made any effort to separate whatsoever, and believe me, there were times when that came really close to happening. So is there some feeling that's still there between us, or are we just too freaking lazy? If it's the latter, than there is absolutely no point at all in continuing. If there is some feeling there, then I’m going to hold onto her with every ounce of strength I have. I hope she tells me. I hope she can say that she honestly loves me, and that she wants to be with me. If she says it's out of laziness, than we're royally screwed. Sara, if you're reading this, I caution you about continuing further. ___________________________________________ It's slowly been coming back to me. That feeling of genuinely caring about her. It was gone for a very long time. I had a different, less secure feeling for her for a period. I know why, and I feel like I've missed out on a part of my life because of it. But it's coming back. It started coming Friday. I was in the freezer, and for some reason, I wanted to break down and cry because I realized at that moment that I really did love her and I came extremely close to losing her. She's a human being. She's a daughter of God. She's my everything. And I love her. I love her so much. And if anyone, ANYONE, tries to tell me otherwise, I will NOT tolerate and I WILL let them know that. I know what I feel; no one else does. No one can crawl into my head and feel what I feel. The funny thing is, she's the one that gives me the most crap. Oh well. I still love her.