Anything negative I've ever said, thought, or felt about Sara, forget it. When it comes down to it, those were just moments, destined to be forgotten about as soon as I look into her eyes and see just how much love she has for me. What right did I have to ever be angry at her, when I myself am imperfect? What example of patience have I set for her when I've gotten angry? There are so many things I did wrong... I let her down. I'm beginning to feel as she did. It's horrible. This feeling inside of you that won't go away and it just keeps tearing you up and you can't do anything about it except punch something then weep like a little kid. Then you look at a photo and you wonder if it were possible to start over again and you get this feeling of hope as you think about rushing to her and hold her in your arms and say something... What would I say? All the things I've said and done to her these past two months has made me want to, and I won’t sugar coat this, kill myself. I did it the wrong way, and for that she will never be able to look me or anyone else in the eye and know that she will always be loved and never be hurt. I pour over memories of her, and it is then that I realize again that she really loved me, with all her heart. She adored me, and I have never been so lucky or happy in my entire life as I was when I held her in my arms and told her I loved her, and she uttered those same words back. My life seems pointless now. Ever since we broke up, I've only pretended to move on. I'm tired of pretending, and it's starting to show. You'd think two months would be plenty of time to move on, but no. It is near impossible to live life without her. The only thing to my life now is school and work. That's all I can do. I want so bad just to run to her and tell her how sorry I am. I know I've already done it a few times before, but I really want to do it again, because I know how she's been feeling all along. However, I think I'm too late. She once told me I held to the keys to her heart, and that she's let me back into her life whenever I asked. Sara, did you really mean that? Without her, I am incomplete. Sara, I am sorry that you did not have me for Valentine’s Day. I'm sorry that you had to cry your self to sleep. I'm sorry that you couldn't sleep. I'm sorry that I ignored you. I'm sorry that I asked you to move out of my locker. I'm sorry that you have to find your own way to school. I'm sorry that you've felt stupid when you’re with me. I'm sorry that I let you down. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry you can't find comfort in me anymore. I'm sorry that I broke up with you. So here I am, prostrated on the ground crying, weeping, and growling in agony. I feel your pain. It comes to me constantly. I say to myself "what have I done to her...” then the pain hits me, and shoots through me so coldly, "this is what I did to her..." I can barely breath, and the guilt is making me want to explode, and cease existing. This guilt is terrible. I now know what I put her through. I sit up, clinging to life, and I wonder why I can't move. But that doesn't matter. I fall back down to the floor and look up at the ceiling. And the memories come. Memories...there are so many of them...they were so happy...we were so happy.... And then I feel nothing at all. Sara, will you let me into your life again? Will you let me hold you and protect you, and show you that I've learned a very important lesson? Will you forgive me? Will you love me? I'll love you. I still love you. That hasn't changed. It never will. I'm so sorry...