Man what is my problem. I did it again and I feel really bad. But what's different this time is that it wasn't nearly as bad as before. I also know that it will never be as bad as before. That brings a little comfort I guess. I knocked one thing off the list of things I could do. No wait, actually three. And those were the worst things I could've done too, so I feel pretty good that I had absolutely no desire to do them. There are other things that I need to knock off, so next time it happens, those selected things will not be done. I have been charged with a serious mission, and I keep messing it up. However, hope is not lost, because I learn from those mistakes. I guess I should make them, but that doesn't make me exempt from making them right. I learn more and more about self-control from them. I wish I didn't have to learn like that, but it works. Crap. It takes two to tango. I chose to do those things. No one forced me. I have never gone all the way, and I know I won't. In fact, because of the recent past, I won't even come close to that anymore. Man I really don't want to do that anymore. If I'm going to keep track of my long term goals, I really need restrain myself from doing something that will not help me in obtaining my goals.