Lately i cant get drunk or high without feeling regretful and gross in the morning, and the feeling is definatley NOT a hangover. I'm getting so confused....i really dont want to feel like this. I want to live my life as a teenager, and try things, but how am i ever supposto try new things if i always feel bad afterwards. I never thought i would ever feel like that. Okay maybe its just cuz lately when i have been influenced and get home parshley drunk or stoned and go to bed that way. i guess im just asking to get caught and my brain is telling me NOt to come home after partying. i think thats it! So maybe next time i know im going to do something that my mother would not agree with i will stay at a friends house...cuz it always feels better when its not your problem. i think im going to change my diary again it's not what im feeling. I just got back from a movie with my mom, it was that one with hillary duff in it.... i dont usually like her, but she is a pretty cute actress when she is starring in chick flicks. That dosn't change the fact that i hate her music though. anyways, it was a good movie i think it was called the perfect man. Go See It! so i told my mom i was going to go to bed at 12:30 tonight bacause she wants to go get the supplies for me to make my brothers birthday present with me, earlier then 3. cuz thats usually when i get up, and then we dont have much day. but i think i might go to bed at...hmmmm 12:49 cuz its 12:29 now and i still need to re-do my diary. gosh i wish my computer wasn't so dumb sometimes. i mean it wont let me download my pictures from california yet....i guess it just dosn't feel like it. kiss kiss