ok so last night i talked to mike again. we were being really nice to each other and magically i haven't got any wrong numbers today. lol what a loser. anyways. this morning i read every note that he gave me. then i tore them up every single one. lol it felt really good to. i can finally say i'm over him. like i would say it but i never really meant it. but now i do and it feels really good. i have no idea what i saw in him. like when i read those notes at first i was crying because i couldn't believe that i let him say that stuff to me but after a while i just got really mad and if i could go back i would have broke up with him after the 1st time we went to the movies. he didn't care about me and he had no respect for me. looking back there were so many things he did to me. i mean he told me that he hoped my mom dropped dead because he didn't like her. you don't wish that for your own parents but your girlfriends parents? and i would like play fight with him and i would like barely tap him and he would punch me back and when i would say oww he wouldn't say he was sorry. no he would be like oh that didn't hurt. then he knew that i wasnt comfortable kissing him in front of my parents and he would do it when my dad was right there. i'm just like come on have some respect. and then when i wanted to take a break he made me feel like crap. oh i want to scream!!! when i tore those notes up it felt like i was tearing those 4 months of my life away because he was my life for those 4 months. so anyways.... this weekend i'm going to the palisades mall. i'm excited. i'm probaly gonna dye my hair sometime real soon too. i can't wait. i'm so sick of my hair. everyone likes it better the way it is right now because it's pretty light but i think it looks better dark because i have tan skin. school is starting 2 weeks from tomorrow. only our school would start school on a friday. they are so weird. but anyways i'm kind of excited to go back. i can't believe i'm gonna be a sophmore. it feels like i'm gonna be a freshman all over again. i'm not really looking foward to the work though even though it's gonna be a lot easier. i'm not taking honors english like i did last year. i'm not taking any honors. only spanish 3. and i got into all the classes i wanted so i won't be stuck taking music appreciation again lol. i haven't done anything this summer though. i haven't seen like any of my friends. only my friend brittany. i see her almost everyday. but the rest of them i drifted away from because everytime they wanted to hang out i was with mike. so yeah. i haven't gone to the shore either. i was supposed to go once with my whole family but then no one wanted to and then i was supposed to go once with britt but i wasn't feeling so good so i didn't. i'm not trying to complain though. i went to great adventure with britt at the beginning of the summer and we got to see jesse mccartney. he is so hot. lol. we had 2 parties too. in july like my dad's family from connecticut came down and that was fun. and then last weekend my sister and her boyfriend and her boyfriends kids came over. that was fun. i went to rhode island where my other sister lives and we went to boston. and i didn't go to school on the last day and britt and i tanned for like 4 hours. that was really funny. we went through like 4 bottles of tanning oil. we were covered. it was like the grossest thing in the world. but we both got really tan. lol. and then i went to connecticut for a really big party on the 4th of july. that was fun too. and there are still 2 weeks left of summer so i'm gonna try to make it fun. i'm so bored right now. if anyone wants to chat im me: bestkeptseccret