wow. things are so different. everything is so weird. i guess i'm growing up and growing away from the past. looking back to a year ago everything was so different. i was with someone and i thought i was happy. and he was my only friend. i wasn't allowed to have any other friends. then after him was a phase of just being depressed. then it was justin. now everything is just so confusing. and i have great friends. but still i feel like really lonely. like none of my friends are real friends. i would never be able to call any of them if i was sad or needed to talk to someone. and i really want to just be able to talk to someone. i'm so bad at being single. its horrible that i need a guy to be with. i'm too dependent and i know it. and then when i'm in a relationship i never feel stable so i won't open up or anything. riding home with alley today made me really sad. like i know we're so different then we were then. and our friends are different and we both are the same that we start acting like the people we hang out with and i really don't like her friends very much. and i love her. that makes me really sad that things just aren't how they used to be. =(