I feel hollow,hurt,upset,angry,fed up, i feel like a faliure. I got into a HUGE argument w/ my mom tonight over the most retarded thing... I was trying to redo my whole computer. i went to go get a CD and i sat down and i SIGHED. and my mom fucking flipps out. shes like "fine if you dont want me to help you i wont. your a spolied witch. You think the world revolves around you. You think you know more then everyone else. Why have you been mean to me lately. God your crabby lately. I have feelings too you know not just you" i was so fucking shocked. i was sitting by my myself with my mouth to the floor. i couldnt even belive she said that to me. Then she was comming back and i just left. i walked out the door and left. i wanted to go to ashleys house but she wasnt there. So i walked halfway down the road and cried. then i walked down our field. and i got somewhere by the trees where no one could see me. i sat down and just started crying. so then i went back up to my house. randy and my mom were outside so i just walked inside. and then my mom came up to my room and i said "i dont want to talk right now" and shes like "why" i just kept telling her that i didnt want to talk and walked away. then i went to go sit on the couch and shes like "you hurt my feelings" i said "well you hurt mine too" and i just started crying. and then she tries buttering up to me saying "im sorry. i love you" and she hugged me. i didnt say anything back. So then i went up to my room and called Will crying. Hes like "why dont you just have your dad come fucking pick you up?" i said i was thinking about taht. but i calmed down after i talked to him. Then i was talking to chelsea about it. i'm glad shes my sister. but then my mom knocks on my door then opens it..i'm like "what" she said "i just wanted to see what you were doing" i said "i'm on the computer" and i was going to shut the door but she just had to push it open and come lay on my bed. I have a white board on my door that reads "knock. Dont come in unless i say. Dont come in even if the doors is open. Dont erase this" my mom erased the "donts" and i got so pissed off. so now i have written on there "DONT ERASE THIS" "DONT COME IN" god... i told will i'm like "i just wish i was there with you. or anywhere but here" hes like "i know" i had to hang up with him early b/c i thought my mom might be on the other phone listening to me. Oh and when she came in my room my dog came in too. well she said to my dog "your so noisy" i was thinking "so arent you" i cant wait until she goes back to work. i cant wait until i graduate and move far far away. I hate it here. my sisters like "come to my house you know you can" i said "i know i will this week" but then i remembered i had a volleyball thing this week so i'm going this weekend and staying for a week. i cant stand it here. I used all my minutes on my cell phone talking to Will until 6 in the morning for 2 nights. it was great though. I think im falling in love...i know its soon but you dont even know how i feel about him. I told him "Will everytime you say 'i love you' or 'your beautiful' i get this feeling. it tingles all over me" I wish i could be with him...He almost pretty much made me cry the other night b/c he was so sweet to me. he made me feel like i was loved. I'm gonna call him tonight at midnight. I guess i'm still having a party. before the whole fight between me and her started shes like "your not going to be mean? your not sick of me?" i said no...haha oh and during our arugment today shes like "i'm sick you on that computer. I should of never bought it for you. you probably have virues on it anyways. i tell you what though your only going to be on it 2 hours a day tahts all." err i said "well what do you want me to do?" she said "go outside with me and randy" ugg i DO go outside w/ her and randy. she thinks im on the computer too much but im not. i seriously cant stand her. oh and she said "why are you so mean to me" i said "when have i been mean to you" shes like "just think about it?" i never even did anything mean to her. the only thing that i said was the "i'm sick of you" thing before...God...i just want to get out of here. And then to top it all off i am worrying about my friend. but i really dont care. let her ruin her life. w/e i might as well say "i told you so" now... ok well now that i got that all out i'm going to go lay down. i've not had a good day...oh and by the way i havent been home for 1 hour and this thing w/ my mom happened...shows you how much i get along with her... -Kayla