Well alot has happened since the last time I have wrote anything in thos thing. I mostly write in my MySpace blog so, yea. August 6th was a long ass time ago. Just in the last week, there has been soooo much stuff that has happened. Oh my, haha. Well to start off the last entry that I wrote, I sappose I am over that now. It's been like a year and a half, and I am over it. Finally. I think someones Family member finally gave me the slap of reality that I need. I was pissed off when they did it, but now I wanna say thank-you:] Even though all of that still hurts when I think about it all, but that's the problem, I have to stop thinking about it.. Now, I just have other stuff that I worry about. I'm not ready to voice anything on it yet so, that will be for another day. I just thought tonight was a good nigh to unwind and write. All my friends are out having a good time, so I'm just gonna get stuff off my chest, with limited interuptions:] Well I think I am gonna tell about alot that has been happening. Last august after I wrote this, I had my party, haha. There was homecoming which was really fun, as always. I didn't have a date, as always.. Of couse, I can't forget Thanksgiving. I spent Thanksgiving with Jen and her family this year. Mom had to work so, me and my family celebrated Friday instead. It was really nice to go to a realy family holiday:] After we ate all we [Jen, Jess, Shane, Heath & I] just sat around all afternoon doing nothing. It was fun:] Seriously. You might think it would be boring, but for someone that's never had that before, it's something special:] Then there was Christmas. Michael came home:] He has a new girlfriend, and I think he should keep this one:] She's really nice and I think he really likes this one too;] Umm, and then there was New Years. Which I must say was the best New Years for me yet:] I went to Jen's. Kayla came and picked me up and we went to Jen's. Then right after we pulled in Heath pulled in behind us. And by like 8p.m., Dipper and Dunstin were there. And how can I ever forget the water fight? Ohhh my, let's just say it was funny, but Kayla & Heath didn't get wet so, I was a meany and rang my shirt out on Heath:] We all watched the ball drop and stayed up till like 2a.m. then Dipper and Dustin went home. Then we all get into bed, but Kayla, Heath, & I stayed up till like 7a.m. while Jen slept, haha:] Late night conversations with those people is what I love about them=] We all woke up at like noon and I gave Heath a wet willie because he wouldn't get up, haha:] But, by like 4p.m. Kayla, Me, & Heath packed up and went back to our homes:] Ohhh, and me and Jen made a bet that she can have me a boyfriend and someone to kiss next new years while the ball is dropping to ring in 2008:] I say no, she says yes. This is where the bet lies. We shall see;] There wasn't much that happened after all that. But, then of course there was valentines day.. Which you can read my anti-Valentines day @ my blog on MySpace. (www.myspace.com/emptyshadows18) But, yea eventful day. We had no school. There was the big snowstorm, now called the Valentine's Day Blizzard:] Oh, joy=] Then there is eventful February 22nd 2007. A day I will probally never forget. Okay, so me, Jen and Tom had a Kay Club dinner to go to. So, we get into Jen's car and head off to it. The roads and everything were perfectly fine, untill we get to Elk Lake intersection. So, we keep going down ther road and then we come to a corner. The corner is obviously slippery and we slid out. Jen corrected it, no problem. Then I guess she tapped the brakes, BIG mistake. We started to fish tail and we went straight across the road hit a small pile of snow that sent us spinning into a 360, we slammed up against a snow pile and then went flying backwards into a wire that holds a phone pole up, which stopped us from hitting the pole:| Talk about scared shitless. That was an understatement for all of us. Jen hit her head off her window, Tom smacked his knee off the consoule and I was slammed up against the passenger side door and luckily only have a small bruise on my thigh. We are all very luck to have even walked away from that. We got outta the snow bank and on our way. We stopped at the gas station called Jen's parnets and they came and got us. But, we are all okay, and fine. Happy to be here, but still scared and tense up and shake when we get into cars.. Other than all of that, nothign has really been going on in my life:] Just simple little Johnna, that seems to have big problems. I deal with it all though, little by little:] J♥hnna I may be surrounded by a million people, but I sill feel all alone. Oh I miss you, you know And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you, Each one a line or two, well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough, My words were cold and flat, and you deserve more than that. I feel just like I'm living someone else's life. When everything was going right, and I know just why you couldn't come along with me, But this was not your dream, But you always believed in me. Another winter day has come and gone away And I'm surrounded by a million people, but I still feel alone.

I still feel numb when I look at your pictures. It still hurts me to see you places. I still feel the space left here. I still feel the emptiness. I still miss you. I wish it was raining. Because I hate every beautiful day♥

Current Music: Family Force 5- Luv Addict Current Mood: Deficent To Whom It Shall Concern, I just went back and read alot of my entries. Idk why I do it but, I do. There is alot of crap in all of them. Mostly bad. It reminds me of everything last year. Everything I try my hardest to forget about=/ Sometimes when I think about it all I just wann go back and change it and then other times I just wanna cry about it. I don't think I can though. I know I cried about it all too much last year and really, I don't need to go back to that.. I mean, I guess things are better this year. They weren't as bad as last year but, definately not the best. I guess it's just hard to let go of so much in such little time=( Well anyways.. Work was fun today. Except Tracy had to leave early. Which left me alone with all the guys. It was okay though cause Mike & Dustin went and mowed and me and Steve just talked, about like EVERYTHING. I don't think I have ever talked to him about that much stuff. Kayla and Him are REALLY mad at eachother. It makes me sad inside=( There both like family so, it makes it difficult, I guess. I hope they get over it before Summer ends because I love all of us hanging out together. *sigh* =/ Everyone kept taking my phone today. It pissed me off at one point because Steve took it outta my pocket as I walked by and then Dustin took it from him and I thought I had lost my NEW phone.. But, dumb butt Dustin had it.. Ughl, Boys! =P Today I took Mike cigarettes because I hate how he smokes after all last summer he was like "I'll quit for you." and then he continues to smoke. So, I had them in my back pocket and he was trying to get them back because "He wasn't goning to smoke them he just didn't want me to cruch them." *COUGH* Lies *COUGH* but, anyways.. He gave up and then Steve was like "Hey Johnna! Are the berries better over there?" And I was like "Yeah, there pretty good." So, Steve was walking by me and reaches in my back pocket and takes the cigaretts and runs away to give them back to Mike after he just like pumbled Mike and Dustin because they wouldn't leave me alone. so, he's a turd muffin, as Kayla would say.. I gotta go to work tommorrow=( Then I get to leave on vaca for a week with Jen=) I cannot freaking wait. It is gonna be *SO* much fun. I leave tommorrow and won't be back untill 7/29 which is two Saturdays from now=) I miss work, is the only bad part. And I'll miss everyone else too=( I gotta get hugs from all my co-working friends tommorrow. I won't see them for a week*tear*. I'll be having fun though.. The carnival is in like a week and a half. August 2nd it starts. I can't wait. I thought about having a party and then we could all go down there and hang out but, Idk.. We'll have to see how that works with my schedule.. I can't wait for it though. It should be fun. Last year was a disaster. Ughl, that pissed me off. I was sappose to be hanging out with a friend and they ditched me. So, yea.. Well I should probally go to sleep considering I gotta get up at like 6a.m. tommorrow and go to work=( J♥hnna

To Whom it Shall Concern, People piss me the hell off. I let stuff go when I really shouldn't. And then people have to start their shit all over again. It makes me want to send them a congradulations card to them for being such fucking dumbass bitches that write shit about me. I'm Glad I'm a fucking little scumbucket too. And didn't you know? It's my DREAM to be like you. Not everyone can be a dramatic little bitch that obviously likes the stalk peoples MySpaces for stuff they can start their precious little DRAMA about.. I guess that's all I have to say about that. J♥hnna

To whom it shall concern, Oh, gee. Where shall I start? I'll just say it: I AM HEADED TOWARD A MAJOR BREAK DOWN. SOON. VERY SOON. Yea, well idk really but, that is totally how I feel. Like everything is Ughl.. And I feel like I am always just outside my body looking in. And it is totally weird. And I can't take things anymore. Thank god Summer is almost here. Then I can get some time away from the people that make me crazy. Literally. I just don't get people anymore. I don't understand the things people do or the way people act. And I don't understand how people feel what they feel and don't feel. It is all one huge mystery that is driving me crazy and I can't deal anymore. I'm too tired and too fed up with it all. I'm pretty sure my mid life crisis is sapposed to happen when I am like forty not sixteen. But, I have to do everything unique, don't I? I just don't know anymore. Well I shall leave you with this: All day, Staring at the ceiling. Making friends with shadows on my wall. All night, Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep, because tomorrow might be good for something. Hold on I'm feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown I don't know why. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired. I know, right now you don't care, but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be. Me, Talking to myself in public, dodging glances on the train. I know they've all been talking 'bout me, I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me. Out of all the hours thinking, somehow I've lost my mind. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired, I know right now you don't care, but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be. I been talking in my sleep, pretty soon they'll come to get me. Yeah, they're taking me away.. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know, right now you can't tell but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see a different side of me. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired, I know right now you don't care, but soon enough you're gonna think of me and how I used to be. Hey, how I used to be. How I used to be, yeah. Well I'm just a little unwell . How I used to be. J♥hnna

To whom it shall concern, Does it seem like to anyone else that everyone is totally annoyingly wining today. Idk, it just seems like more today then normal. I'm easily annoyed today I guess.. Not just today though for someone. I have this friend that is totally getting annoying about a relationship they'll never have.. And don't worry the friend I am refering to is not a girl it's a guy. And just by saying that some of you reading this should know.. That is if your actually a friend of mine, but yeah.. I just kinda wanna scream "GIVE IT UP! NO ONE CARES ANYMORE!" But, me being a nice person and friend I am, is just sort of "supportive". I hate people and there dumbness to fall for people they know they shouldn't and people they know they will never have.. Ughl, people are dumb.. Seriously.. I know like I should talk. I have been there done that. But, I got threw it and learned from it but, some people don't, like Mr. Stated above.. I just had to get that all out cause it was annoying me and I didn't really wanna go to sleep with that annoyance.. Anyways.. Well all that stuff I talked about in my last blog is semi sorted threw I guess. You can read all that I had yo write about it in my blog on my MySpace but, of course for that you have to be on my friends list. If you are on my friends list then it's: http://blog.myspace.com/emptyshadows18 So, just go there and read it if you must. Brother comes home June 1st, That should be fun.. *rolls eyes* See if I get anymore demands barked at me to "let pathetic shit go" Yea, well I won't even get started on the pathetic little shit he should have let go a LONG time ago.. Okay, well I think I am off to bed. Night. J♥hnna

To whom it shall concern, Haha. It's been a while but, I will never forget how I start my SitDiary blog entries=) Anyways.. It has been a while.. Alot has happened since the last time I wrote. Which I think was like November but, I didn't look beofre I started this entry. Well the last time I wrote my brother was home from Arkansas. He's back there now and in love with a walking mental case from up here still.. Which is most likely why I am writing in this right now. I hate fighting with people over stupid shit and stupid people.. Even more when it's my own family.. And exspecially over, nevermind. I'm just so pissed off right now. You wouldn't belive the things I said to my own brother last night but, I feel a little better now. Atleast he knows the truth. If he didn't wanna know the truth then he should have never asked.. Somethings are better left unsaid but I couldn't leave them left unsaid any longer. I have been sitting here watching it all happen and I can't take it anymore. Things just get worse and worse but, never better. It's like a horror movie. When you know somthing bad is going to happen and you wait for the scary music to tell you when but, the the scary music never comes and it just hits you. Blindsides you and there it is.. I know bad anology but, I tried. Anyways, I gotta go. I think I am gonna go back to sleep for a couple hours and then clean up near the pond and make invitations for my petite b-day party on Friday♥ My 16 B-day is Tommorrow♥ J♥hnna

To whom it shall concern, Well, it has been a while since I have wrote in here. I think I wrote in here when my brother was home from the airforce which was like late november early december. So, it's been a while. Alot has happened since then. But, what's the sense of getting into it all.. Gosh, the people upstairs are being really noisy and it's like 11:36p.m. They should be asleep. Like I should be. But, I wasn't really tired. So, I stayed up and did my MySpace. Which if you don't know my site addess it's www.myspace.com/emptyshadows18. You should visit it. It's pretty cool. Well I hink I am gonna go to bed. I ust wanted to stop in and write a little something for everyone that does read this knows I am still alive. lol. J¢¾hnna Those effin people are starting to piss me off upstairs...

To whom it shall concern, Heyyyyyy. Well it's been a while but, I'm writing. I have a MySpace now [[www.myspace.com/emptyshadows18]] so, I don't really use this anymore. But, I was bored and figured I would redo it so, here it is=) Make sure you check out the MySpace. I ♥ it! It's cute8) Well I am gonna go watch Greys Anatomy w/ my brother and Kayla. Maybe I'll start writing in here again. idk. We'll have to see. Bye. J♥hnna

To whom it shall concern, You let my hand go and watched me fall. And now that I hit the bottom I have realized you never really had ahold of my hand at all... Ello. Well it has been over 20 days since I have writen. Wow, has it been fun? Ughl..not going there. Well lets see lets start at the last time I wrote. I think I shall go by dates... Wednesday August 24th - Friday August 26th(around 5p.m. ish) Nothing really just work till like Friday at noon. Then I went back to Mikes' and watched movies and played Video Games with him. Oh, and Mike, Steve, Tracy, and I disected a frog. And Steve put frog blood on my sweater. Y U C K!!! That was till like 4:30p.m. Then I went home to get ready to spend the weekend with Jen :) Friday, August 26th (5p.m. - like 2:30a.m.) Party at Joe D.s' house :D That was fun. I got there at like 6:30p.m. then they set off some small fireworks. That was fun, I caught a couple army men...lol. They're little figureines of army men that come down on a parachut after you set off the firework. I still have one in my pants. lol. My dad has washed it like 5 times. lmao. Then we stayed uptill like 2a.m. in the morning talking and stuff. It was fun though. Saturday, August 27th Woke up at 9ish helped clean up fireworks from the night before. Then made a donation box for the fireworks. Went back to Jens house to shower and get ready for the real party that night. Hehe, got back to Joe's and burned him real bad. I love my smart ass comments and I know that they do too:) I love them peoplex33 Then we had a really big dinner thing while people were still arriveing and getting and putting down MORE food. This one dessert thing was so effin good *drool* lol. Then we did fireworks. First me and Jen did like little ones. Well we handed the safe ones out to the younger children (5 - 12year olds) and helped them set them off... Then there were the big ones. They were so the best ones ever, ecspecially if you put on the 3-D glasses. Ooo, they were B E A Utiful:) Oh, and me and Jen handed out Jello shots the whole night. Omg was that fun. Jen was practically shoveing them down peoples throats and into there hands...lmao. We would walk past people and she would shove them into peoples hands. Hehe, we got them people D R U N K:) It was fun though: P Then after the fireworks the place started to clear out and we went to the camp fire. Haha, the things that go done there. Lets just say I saw two asses and they were NOT pretty : P Haha, it was effin hilarious though... Ahhh, good times! Went to bed around two or three in the morning... Sunday, August 28th Woke up around 7:30a.m. and went into the house to pee and found Jen's Uncle Jimmy on the futon about to barf and when I went into the bathroom I found puke in the toliet. All I have to say about that is EWW!!! lol. Then I went shopping with my mom and our elderly neighbor lady Betty. We went to the oakdale mall it was fun... I got lunch at Wendy's. I got one of those fruit bowl salads it was YUMMY! Then went home and got stuff ready for school. And then went to sleep... OH! I forgot about Bubba. lol. Bubba is one of Jen's parents childrens friends. Haha, he slept in our camper the last night and in the morning when me and Jen were up he was like makeing car noises in his sleep. lmfao. It was freaking priceless... Ahhh, more good times! Monday, August 29th FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! It was aight. lol. I donno, just same old same old. nothing new just flet like we had a really long weekend and never had summer vaca... Tuesday, August 30th - Thursday, September 1st Absoluely nothing specail. That I remeber anyways... lol Friday , September 2nd - Saturday Semptember, 3rd (till noon) Had volleyball games. Well, scrimmages... They were ok. Didn't lose TOO badly... And I went to work Friday night before the VB game... Made $6. Yay! lol. Saturday, September 3rd (noon - whenever) - Monday Septemeber 5th Saturday went to Kaylas dad's house. Watched the Ring2 and Monster In Law. They were good. Haha, I scared Kayla SO bad in the Ring2. Lmao. It was funny. Was on the comp a bit and hun with Chels. Took pics all that nice stuff. Went back to good ole Lawton P.A. around 5p.m. Sunday night. Went to kaylas to stay the night till Monday at four. I was gonna go to the Wyoming county fair but, Kayla wanted me to come over so, I did. Tuesday, September 6th - Saturday September 10th (till 11a.m.) Nothing, just school and VB games.... FUN FUN! Saturday, September 10th - Sunday, September 11th Went to Kaylas and she got a new fourwheeler. We didn't do much saturday just sat around and stayed up late. The usual. And I had my Coke :) Haha, kayla took it away once cause when I drink Coke It makes me C R A Z Y... lol. And she thinks I act drunk. Haha. It's funny. Then the next day as you probally know it was september 11th. But, on a good note. Me and Kayla had ALOT of fun on the fourwheeler that day. Hehe. Then around 3:30p.m. we went up to play soccer with Steve and Mike. That was fun, some of it anyways... We so broke laws that day. Ahh, it was fucking hilarious. And we are so going to hell for it all...... Haha. Lets see we ran away from Sarah and Jessica and we went to a dead guys house. Not only did we go there but, we broke in.... through a window and then Me, Steve, Mike and Kayla hid in a closet and the worst of all is that the goverment was sappoise to be there that day to reposses the house... Ughl, I would have died if they started to take the house away with us in it.... Steve was like spazing out and giggling like a little girl. lmao. It was freaking hilarious and then Sarah and Jessica saw steve through the window and the look on Steves face when he saw here was priceless...ahhh, good times. Then we ran outta the house we went to the woods. After fighting with Jessica for like and hour we went and played some VB. That's when it got bad cause someone had to lie to me and thinks he could and it fucking pisses me off but I will get into that in a little bit... Monday, September 12th - Thursday, September 15th Nothing monday or wednesday that I can remeber. lol. Tuesday and Thursday had VB games. Lost... yea and that leads me to.... TODAY!!! Friday, September 16th Today was crappy. So hasn't this whole week. Erguhlsmurfs.... It's just been all around bad. Lots has happened. The biggest thing is people still lie to me... and it hurts. And then I get mad at them and feel like I push them away and I just wanna cry. Have you ever felt like the one person you thought you knew you never really did? Well yea that's how I feel right now. I feel like I don't matter anymore and that it was all a waste of time. I feel freaking dumb and betrayed and stupid and every other word to describe a bad thing...Ughl today I just wanted to like break down and cry but, I held it together :( Ughl.... Anyways, after school I went to the VB open gym thinger.... It was alot of fun. Ooo, and the one guy there. I am so not gonna mention his name cause people read this and I wouldn't want him to, lmao. But, he was "WOW" lol. Ahh, also I found out other stuff. Like how dumb I am to think that someone (a guy) wasn't really my friend and pretty much just talked about me behid my back and was a asshole. Atleast I don't have to deal with that anymore... It still pisses me the fuck off since I was dumb enough to think that he was my friend and he wasn't.... I guess you could say that hurts too. Ughl. Just all about the hurt this week. Theres alot more but, I sall not go into that. I don't even want to thik about it. Anyways, I am super tired and emotionally drained so I think I am gonna go to sleep or something. Night. ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥*:. J O H..N N A.:*♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥

To whom it shall concern, Lie To Me, Tell Me Your Sorry, Because All You'll Ever Be Is Lies. Today was fun and not so fun. Ughl. It didn't get fun till after work. Gosh, have you ever felt sa though you cannot tell anyone anything. I feel trapped and let down and I just wanna cry. I don't even know what to do. I want to stay so effin mad but, then again I don't. But, right now the anger is winning. I am so tired of everything and to top it off school is next week...ughl. Maybe I'll get derailed by a car the next time I walk across the road, if ever I could be so lucky.... Anyways on to my shopping with kayla. It was fun:) We went to the mall and I got some stuff =) I got my jewelry for homecoming, a butterfly necklace and earrings from Hot Topic, Cherry earrings from Hot Topic, Star earrings from Hot Topic, a purse from Spencers, and lip gloss that is in a tin that say lip bitch from spencers, or atleast I think thats what it says....lol. I can't remeber or care right now. I am really tired. Oooo, we ate at frendlys and omg I love their chicken. It is SO freaking yummy: P and there french fries, Finger Lickin' Good. Did I mention I am REALLY tired. I think I am gonna go to bed and maybe write more tommorrow... I donno. Well Night. ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥*:. J O H..N N A.:*♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥

To whom it shall concern, Lean In Real Close And Whisper In My Ear Tell Me All Those Beautiful White Lies I've Been Dieing To Hear. Ello. Well it has been one year since I have lived in this new house. It's been one more year I have survived in this world. Yay! Like that is a thing to celebrate. . . I go back to school in like two weeks. Well two weeks exactly. We all get to go back to the cest pool of D R A M A. Yes!!!! I have so been waiting for this. . . . Yea right. God, why does everyone and everyhing have to be dramatic. Atleast some people that caused the drama last year won't be in my life this year:) That makes me oh so VERY happy. Summer has been ok. Still alot of crap to piss me off but, It's been ok. So many one year things are comeing up soon. One year how long I've been here One year deaths and one year has been away from home. Yeaterday I wrote in my MySpace about people and there lies. I donno it just pisses me off. I mean if your gonna lie to me do it right. People really need to learn how to lie. Lie to me right, like don' let me catch you in a lie. People piss me the hell off. . . .ERGHUL!!!! Well i sappose I am gonna go watch Wildfire now. Cause I don't wanna think about all the stuff that pisses me off right now. . . .I can't wait till Jen comes back from vaca because I need someone to seriously talk to. And I MISS HER!!! lol. Well Night. Johnna I Hate You And Your Dirty Little Secrets

To whom it shall concern, Happy Birthday Mike Hey. Well today was Mike's birthday. Fun Fun Fun. Haha, yea. . . It was just like every other day. lol. At work we got paid more just cause it was his B-day. YAY! lol. Lets see I got him like 30 snickers bars, two 2liters of Ice tea, and a bunch of bubble gum. It was set up all nice and pretty and he didn't even get to mess it up, everyone else did. Monkeys, that is all my friends are. . . lol. Gotta love them though. Then he like ripped the handle off the bag, my beautiful bag and he ripped it. I got a thanks and a sweaty hug. That was pleasant. We all had lots of fun though. Ooooo... Kayla got a job today at blueberry haven. Haha, she's worse at it then me. YYYYEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Lmao. It's gonna be Me, Mike, and Kayla tommorrow. Tracy won't be there cause of warped tour and no Paul cause I guess he is gonna go on a vaca thinger with his family. Don't really care about him being there but, MY TRACCCCYYY! lol. I shall miss her *tear*. Kayla has like the worse gorunded sentence. Haha, it's her fault though. . . She isn't aloud to talk to Will, only write letters. No internet and no party. And she has o pay the $270 back by September 1st, which personally I really don't think that is gonna happen. But, yea those are her punishments. I think I am gonna go up to the pond and see if Napolean is there. Oh, yea. lol. Napolean is a cat that me and my mom found. lol. Sort of like Mr. Mistoffolies. Well bye. J O H N N A

To whom it shall concern, Ello. Well I have not wrote in a LLLLOOOONNNNGGG time. lol. I've been busy though. Lets start with last Wednesday. Umm, I went to work and then after work I stayed with Tracy cause her, Steve, Me, and Mike were going to the carnival. Well we went swimming and then went back to Tracys and got ready and then we were off. We watched Steve play horseshoes for like an hour and a half. It was ok, except My mom had told me that I am not aloud anywhere near the hayloft and I was. lol. And then steve was like "Theres your mom." I got like that really bad feeling like "OH SHIT!" and I was about to dive under his dads truck. lmao. Then we went to the Carnival and I was pissed off most of the night. lol. What else is new. . . I was mad cause I mean we were there to have fun and ride rides and hang out and for like the first hour when we got here we couldn't find Mike. So, it was pretty much Me, Tracy, and Steve the whole night. Then Mike came around for a while and Steve was pissed at him for leaving us. So, he told him to go away to other people and he did. So, again I was left without my ride buddy. . . By then I was really pissed and just wanted to go home. But, me and Tracy got fries and that made me happy:) Then I yelled at Mike for makeing my night suck. Haha8) That was funny and while I was yelling I saw Dale but, I was preoccupied and when I wasn't occupied anymore Dale was gone so, then I was pissed that I didn't even get to say hey to him. . . Erg. That night sucked. Then I got home and my dad had to fucking start with me. He was like saying shit about Mike cause like the day before Mike flipped my mom off jokeingly and my dad wasn't happy about that. . . So, he was like "Why were you down there with him? I said you weren't aloud to be near him" and I was just like "You have never chosen my friends before so your not gonna do it now" and he said "I never said I was chooseing them. I was chooseing not to like him" and he was like "I don't know how you can consider him your friend" and I said "I don't know how I can consider you as my father." That was pretty much the end of that. I mean, whatever. . . He's not chooseing my fucking friends exspecially when it was over something dumb. I pretty much went to bed after that cause I didn't wanna deal with it anymore. Anyways. . . . . Tursday I went to work came home went to town and then got ready for Carnival night #2 with Kayla. It was A L O T more fun. lol. I mean it was ok the first night bt, it was just not a good night to go. The second night I didn't see no where near as much as I did the first night. Just a sec I gotta get a sweater cause I am FREEZEING. My sweater smells like Chels room. Haha, like it wasn't in there the whole weekend. . . .lmao. Anyways back to my week. Thursday was fun. Then Friday, omg. It was like the best day I have had in a LLLOOOONNNGGG time. There were a couple bad things in it but, I'll get to that soon enough. Hehe:) Well work was like the best it has ever been. It was LOTS of fun. *sigh* So much funnnnnnnnn! I came home and watched a movie and then went to Kaylas dads. We went to Dandy Mart at like 1:30a.m. Haha. It was fun though. We got drinks and food and like sat in that place for like 2hrs. Haha. It was great. Chels friends Rob and Eddie were there. That was great. Freaking stoners though. On the way back to the house Rob was like walkin down the middle of the bridge. And I was like "That is why you don't do drugs." He tried to say something back but, yea he was stoned and couldn't. Haha. It was great. Bad thing abou that night is. . . We got jumped and this dude like raped Kayla. Haha, Just kidding. Got ya going though. Hehe:) Well there was on bad thing about that night. I guess Will (Kaylas boyfriend) was haveing a bad night cause like his ex was calling him and saying shit and like the whole thing with his dad beating on him and all. Well I guess he was all "It's not worth living anymore" and he was gonna kill himself or something. It just got everyone really upset. We were in the dandy and Kayla was crying and she set the phone down and then I was listening to Will and Michael on the phone and I guess Will like couldn't breathe so I was like listening to him gasping for air and screaming he couldn't breathe so then I started to cry cause I was like listening to somone freaking die. It was a really bad night. Then when we were back at the house I guess Will was ok and Chels was talking to him and he said he wanted to talk to me so, I did. Not thinking he thinks I hate him. . . Which is...ERG! but, anyways. . .He's like "Do you hate me still?" and I said "No, but I'm not gonna say sorry to you" and he went on about some crap like I was laughing when he said that he was gonna kill himself. Umm, lets see...NO I DIDN'T. I was like laughing at me imatating Kayla and if I seriously wanted him to kill himself I would have said "Grab a fucking gun and pull the damn trigger" Seriously. I care when my best friends boyfriend wants to kill himself so whatever. I seriously am never gonna be friends with that kid cause he pisses me that fuck off when he puts god damn words on my mouth that I NEVER fucking said. . . Off the subject of that cause if I go on I am gonna get mean and I don't want it to get to Kayla if she reads this. Which she probally will cause she hearts me: P lol. Well that was Friday night. Saturday was ok. Pretty much just sat around at the house and did nothing. We went to the Dandy with her dad and I was like "Wow it looks different during the day" Haha. Atleast kaylas dad didn't hear me. . . Saturday night was cool. Kayla, Chels, and I got all did up and took hot pics. Haha. It was funnnnnn! I gotta couple ghetto pics in there. lmao. It was great.... Went home like 3ish. Talked to kayla on the phone for a bit got on the comp, then went to bed around 11ish. Today I went shopping with my mom and my neighbor cause my neighbr is like old and is always in a wheel chair so my mom though it would be nice to take her out since she hasn't been out in FOREVER. lol. So, we did that and went to the veiwmont mall and all that cool stuff. It was lots of fun. OMG! I had the best smothine drink thing ever today. It's called an Orange Juliuis. It's yummy:) And I sappose I am here now. I think I am gonna go watch Wildfire in a couple mins so I gotta go soon. Oh, and I think Kayla got like banned from alot of stuff today including her party. . . Ughl. Her phone bill was like $271 or something like that. Erguhl! Well I'm gonna go now. Byes. Johnna

To whom it shall concern, ♥ I Wanna Be Inside Your Heaven ♥ Hey. Well I got a MySpace today. Same old blog thinger. Just like the rest of them. . .it's sort of neat though so, I sappose I shall keep it:) Well I pretty much put everything of my day today in my MySpace one so I guess I'll just make a link or whatever to that one. . .If I can somehow. I donno how to like it but the site is. . . http://blog.myspace.com/emptyshadows18 Anyways, I was bored tonight so, I just decided to take some quizzes. Like Which dysfunctional Carebear are you and it is extremly weird. First I got. . . . Raver Bear Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla And I though Ok, I do like to party and hang with friends and I love ring pops. But, I hate to dance (In front of people : P) and I am definately not a happy-go-lucky person that hands out hugs. . .so, I decided to take it again and got. . . . Thug Bear Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Thug Bear??? I swear I'm not a violent person. I finally relize why I am bored. Lmao. I spend my time takeing these dumb ass quizzes. . . But, just for fun I took it a third time. Hehe:) And got. . . . Hooligan Bear Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Wow, these things get wronger as I take them over and over again. . . . It's semi scary. Oh, well Onto a differnt quiz. . . lol. I have nothing better to do *shrugs shoulders* Hehe : P Dude you have split personality.get help... How insane are you? brought to you by Quizilla Didn't have to tll me that. . . N E X T!!!! You like Sex GodDraco!Sex God Draco loves sexand girls! With his stunning looks andunyielding sex drive, he can be found whereverthere is female company. Sex God Draco has theentire female population swooning after him andsome of the male as well! Sex God Draco oftenis part Veela and uses his charms to bed asmany girls (and sometimes boys) as he can. Hismind is always on sex and he wants nothing morethan to get into your panties!You like himbecause you are...HORNY! You will most likelymake him wait for awhile and then only sleepwith him when he realises, finally, that youare the only one for him and halts his previousphilandering ways! Which Draco Malfoy would you fall for? With Scrumptious Pictures! brought to you by Quizilla I took this one twice and came out with the same thing so, I guess I pretty much wanna sleep with Draco Malfoy. . . .Who wouldn't? ;) Haha. Onto another one. . . In your eyes, people see life... You see yourselfas just an average person! You enjoy life, lovewildlife, but also enjoy time with those whoknow you best. You like to get outdoors and letyour mind wander over all of the mysteries godgave to you. You don't really have a certainsanctuary because you're so well-rounded, butyou like having fun and adventures, but canalso be found sitting quietly about, reading abook. You have a pretty good life ahead of you,never trade it for anything else :) What Lies Behind Your Eyes? brought to you by Quizilla Ok. . . . Next. ~*~Result nr 6~*~ Your power is: Transformation Explanation: Unlike everyone else youcan change your body materia and transform intoanything (e.g. an animal). This can be used ingood purposes for infiltrating evilheadcuarters or adjust your physical abilitiesby transforming and therefor do better inbattle. If turned to the evil side, atransfomer could manipulate the "goodguys" by looking like their loved ones andbreak them down.As a person you are dissapointed with life. Youhave not so many interests anymore and hasbecome depressed. Of course you can be happy,but your happiness subsides quickly and don'tlast very long. You isloate yourself frompeople since you think they would only hurtyou, but some part just wants someone equal whounderstands the pain. When you transform itgives you freedom and you can be anything butyourself. You often pity yourself but don't letpeople come near and know what's going on withyou. But the thought of opening up and riskingbeing betrayed is too strong and intimidatingto even try.Negative aspects: You carry much hate tothe world and yourself and in the long run thiscould lead to dangerous thoughts(suicide/cutting/killing) though the last oneis least likeable since you would probably justhave too much guilt. What Power is Compatible With You? brought to you by Quizilla And it goes on. . . Well theres the end of quiz hour. lol. I like wrote this all last night and I'm putting it in today. lol. I know weird : P Well I think I am gonna go and sit in my room or something. lol. Probally watch tv. Bye. J O H N N A

To whom it shall concern, ♥ When I Forgot How To Fly You Were There To Remind Me How To ♥ God, people fucking piss me off. . . Sometimes I hate people. I wish I could be locked in a room with just animals and NO PEOPLE and maybe just maybe I wouldn't keep careing about people. I've realized that there is no perfect days anymore. People just fuck up everything. I hate them. . . Anyways on a better note, I guess kayla gets to see Will finally. I was like "OMFG!" when I read her SitDiary. I was like about to crap myslef. lol. I still gotta talk to her about that. I think I am gonna adopt another animal :) Hehe. Oh, well I love my virtual pets. The carnival is next week. YAY! I can't wait. I think I wanna go the first night w/ Tracy, Steve, and Mike then on Friday go with Kayla cause I wanna spend the night at her house and I can't any other night cause I work. So, yea. I hope it all works out that way as long as Me and Tracy plan it case boys cannot plan. lol. Long story. . . Ok, nevermind with me and Kayla going on friday cause that when she is gonna see Will. I donno when we're going then. Oh, god. My plans are falling through like guy plans. Hehe:) Well I think I am gonna go adopt another animal and then go eat dinner or somthing. J O H N N A adopt your own virtual pet! ^ And there it is 8)

To whom it shall concern, ♥ Voices Tell Me I should Carry On ♥ Ughl. Today was just not good. Erg. . .I don't even wanna think about it. *UUUUUGGGGHHHHLLLLL* Whatever. *rolls eyes* Anyways. . . Didn't do much today. Went to work, came home, showered, watched Boy Meets World, My dads friends came over, I washed his windows and made $2 and now I am here. I am really tired. And annoyed. And I reeeeaaalllyyy don't wanna go to work tommorrow. I am like major slacking at my job. I picked like only four buckets today. *sigh* I think I am gonna go to bed soon. Wow, did y'all hear that storm last night. Damn, it was bad at my house. . . . I gotta find some freaking music to listen to... Cause all I am hearing is silence and when I hear silence I think and thinking is bad cause then I just gt angry and all that crap. I need to go cause I don' wanna go on anymore about meaningless crap that no one cares about. . . J O H N N A I adopted another one. . . adopt your own virtual pet! ♥ I Don't Wanna Waste Another Moment Saying Things We Never Meant To Say ♥

To whom it shall concern, ♥ I Shake My Little Tush On The Cat Walk ♥ Well lets see. . .today was really fun. First off I am on the phone with Kayla and she is singing the song I am listening to. lol. Well today I went to Montrose and I guess Mike came to my house while I was gone. Wow, was that embarassing when I got home. . . lol. My dad came down the hallway and was like "MIKE WAS HERE, MIKE WAS HERE, MIKE WAS HERE" In that pick on Johnna voice. I guess he came over to ask if I wanted to go swimming up at Corys pond. He had to talk to my dad. lmao. Mike said my dad looked like a teletubbie, I told my dad that. lmao. Oh, well. . . So, I got home and my parents picked on me and then I got my swim suit on and went over to the pond. And no one was there. . . So, I went to Tracys to see if she knew what was going. She had no clue so I went into her house and called Mike to see what was going on. Twenty mins. later we got it all figured out and by 3:30p.m. Tracy, Cory, Me, & Mike were at the pond swimming. It was really fun. Everyone was trying to stand on Tracys boggie board which was freaking hilarious. Cory left like around 4:30 and Ashley got there around 4:45. Haha, I gave Tracy a wedgie and hen she was trying to get me back. . .lmao. She finally did only cause Mike like drowned me : Z Then Mike was like "Can I have a hug?" and stupid me trusting that he wasn't gonna do anything. . . Well needless to say he gave me a wedgie :( lol. It was bad. . . .He like pulled me outta the water and my butt was like fully uncovered and I was so glad that Tracy was under water and Ashley had her head down or they would have saw my ass. I got him back though ;) Nice little wedgie for him and a bite on the neck:P We had lots of fun:) I get to go to kaylas tommorrow. YAY! I guess I am going at noon untill like around 7p.m. cause I gotta work Tuesday. . . I get paid on Tuesday too. YESS! lol. $$$ I ♥ money $$$ lol. Me and my daddy went and shot guns tonight. I like shooting guns untill some asshole told me that I'm a girl and I can't shoot a gun. . . I fixed that though :) I'll just like put the whole thing in here. It was getting dark so me and my dad were standing around talking to his friend pat when Pats son pulled up and the first thing he said was "Whoa she has a gun. That can't be safe since she's a girl. . ." And I said " Well how about I shoot that nice little coke can on your dash and then you can tell me I can't shoot" He shut up then :D I hate guys that think they are better then girls. Truth is I probally could shoot better then most of the guys out there:) Haha, I had a major blonde moment tonight so didn't kayla. lmao. But, we won't get into hers. Lmfao. Well lets just say I asked my dad how to spell Id. Lmao. It was bad. . . Well I think I am gonna go. I'm really tired. lol. J O H N N A adopt your own virtual pet! ^I just had to adopt 8) ♥ I'm gonna party like a rock star hit a bunch of strip bars ♥

To whom it shall concern, ♥ I told him I was afraid of falling and he wispered I have wings ♥ Well I just read like all my entries. I'm thinking I shouldn't had. It reminded me of alot of crap. Good and bad. Mostly bad. But, yea whatever. It reminded me of why I hate people. lol. Oh, well. This world is a fucked up place with even more fucked up people in it. Gotta keep living for it to become better. . . Reading it all reminds me of things that I just want to take outta my life and people I just want to fix things with and all that crap. I donno. It's all too frustrateing though to even go back into. I see the end of the road and I'm not turning back now. Whats happened has happened and I can't change that now. All I can say is that the part of me that resents the past months has been left behind to never find me again. Hopefully. Well I think I am gonna go outside or start dinner. I'm not sure yet. * ~* ~ * ~ * ~ J C * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

To whom it shall concern, Wow, yesterday was a really bad day. lol. Not like "OMG I HATE TODAY!!" but, "omg. I can't beive I did that" Lets see. Yesterday morning before I went to work I went in the bathroom to get changed and I went to set my clothes down on our little bench in our bathroom and I smacked my forehead right off the towel holder. Then when I got back from work I was washing my hand and I had a bunch on soap on my hands and I turned the water off and went to wipe my soapy hands on the dish rag. Then we went to vestal and we were in Sams Club and I was waiting for my dad to pick out a roast and I guess I thought my mom was right behind me but, she was actually in front of me. Anyways, I ended up like grabbing this ladys cart and I was like holding onto it. . . She didn't notice untill my dad stared laughing and said "What are you doing? Thats not our cart" And I turned and the lady is like laughing at me and I said "Oh, Jeeze. I'm sorry" So, that was embarassing cause she was like laughing for 10mins and the worst thing about it was that she had a really cute son. . . . *rolls eyes* Then we got home and my feet were really dirty so, I went into the bathroom to wash my feet in the shower and when I went to flip the knob for it to clog the tub I accidentally hit the one to turn it on and the shower head turned on. Lets just say I was soaked so then I washed my feet and came out into the living room. My mom was sitting on the couch and she just starts laughing cause I'm soaked with water and I'm like "Don't ask" After that I decided I better go to sleep so I went to bed. I was so tired through out the day that I like did all that stuff without realizing it. It was just wow... Well I think I am gonna go back to bed so that today is not like yesterday. . . Jc