Hey, everyone havnt been on this in forever..but all is well..all is happy...Im with Ryan...working things out with Robert... getting my family back together! ITs awesome! Luvs

Im sitting here not nowing what to do! Wishing i could have the one i wanted I love it here in Michigan But then again i hate it here I had so many bad expeirances gettign here and losing so many people i love I wish i could stand by everyone Im missing the peopel i love nad to far away to see them I love you all and i miss you all And those of you who no what i feel I want you to no that it'll get better We will all get better if we just work together I am getting better with all the things i do Just remember M******* ill always be there and you have people who care TRUST ME! Love you all Love your Robert

I moved to Michigan and gosh i miss so many people now that im here i can really tell that i affected so many peoples lifes but i had to do it i needed tog et out but to see the hurt in the sound of peoples voices and nowing they need someone and i cant be there hurts me to death, I miss Robert so much and i cant wait to see him, and my friend bre is needing someone more then ever and ic ant be there which suxs! I dont no what to do anymore! All i do is cry when i talk to them nowing that they need me ! ARG I LOVE YOU ROBERT I LOVE YOU BRE I LOVE YOU FRIENDS!

This is who my year has gone! I have gottin into lots of trouble, ran away that sort of things, i have moved to michigan to live with my dad! Nate has contacted me. Sluts in the world dont no who i no! Yeah nate contacted me big surprise hu, he called and says that he likes me cares about me and all this stuff, that if i were to give him a chance that he wouldnt hurt me. He says he is a christian now. He acts like one pretty cool sweet nice caring. Its a big change for him, he is in washington, and will soon be living with his mom once out of this boarding type school he goes to in Washington. He is a completly different person, its kinda hard to belive him or even to trust him, with all my heart i want to stand there and say everything is okay but i no its not true, theres alot of trust issues and crap like that. Its just kinda hard to sit there and see the man (your first love) become a completly different person but be so far away and its just sometimes hard to tell him stuff do to the fact that im not sure if he is just messing with me or not! Yeah i moved to michigan with my dad becuase i was such a bad kid, and i got my dad to fly out here to get me cuz i was sick of my mother as you all no! Its pretty cool up here it snowed last night, and so we have a couple of inches! The people out here are so sheltered not alot of the outside world here. but thats alright! I guess better for me! Thats what so far my life as beeN!

I love you so much, words could never explain. I want you to no i will do anything for you. I will go to the end of the world just to say i love you. I will be there if you ever need me. And i will stand tall when i feel like falling. I will always be here as long as your here by my side. May that side be many miles away. I no we may never be in each others arms again, but if that day may come i want you to no ill wait for it to come till the end of my days. As your daughter i will love you no matter what and try to understand what the hell is oging on. As your fwend I will be here to lison and be there when you just want to cry. I will for no reason leave you, if you ever need me you no my freakin number. And plz use it. I want to hear from you as oftin as i possible can. Because with out you my world could fall apart. As im writing this i am starting to get teary eyed. but i love you with all my heart and no one will ever change that. Stay strong alright we will soon betogether again i can see it now. It may not be for many years, but you did say at one point u would always be there for me and i no that if i needed you i could find you and you would be there for me. I love you mommie stay strong, and make sure you remember i love yolu and always will, I miss you just thinking about you!

Im sitting here felling alone Abandoned, without a mother I love her to death but she is in some shyt And im lossing a mother I love her to death Bekka ur my hero I love you and i will never forget Everything you have done for me I will try and stay strong For your sake and mine And when you call ill cry But its only cuz i miss you lots I hope youc ome to see me soon Becuase i dont no if i could live without you in my life Everytime i think of losing you I just start to cry I have to be strong for my sake and Roberts He needs it more then i do Im scared out of my mind but thats just cuz Im not sure whatz going to happen next! I love you baby! Your the best mommy i could have!

I lost the man i love The guy who said he would be there till the day i die He would have done anything for me Killed any guy who hurt me and would be there when i need to talk but now that he did what he did I dont no how im supposoe to feel He was my everything the onei loved the one who was there for me He helped me walk He lefted me up when i feel He gave me a shoulder to cry on So why would he use me abuse mel ike that He said he loved me, would always be there we had made plans for the future and then he lied to me and wouldnt talk to me about what happend I love you, need you and hope your willing to come back tgo me, i shouldnt gvive you another chance but you were my first love and i cant let someone like you go plz come back to me!

I thought our fwendship would last, i thought we would always be together. Have you noticed the tears in my eyes, the pain in my heart, and the words i cant say in my throwt. Do you care about the tears, the cuts, the scars i have because of you? Do you notice the millions of tears ive cried because of you? Where were you when i need u to dry up all the tears ive cried? You never understood, the feelings i ahd for you, the fwendship that was wasted because of the pain you caused. I tryed to make our fwendship last, for your sake and mine, but it didnt work. You were being stubborn and wouldnt let me in. You pushed me away when i needed you the most. I wanted to be there when you needed a shoulder to cry one. I wanted to be the one you ran to whenever something went wrong, I wanted to be the gurl you called when someone hurt you, but all you did was push me away shuve me in a corner nad never delt with the feelings left. I went through guilt trips over you, telling my slef it was my fault you left nad my fault i wasnt your gurl, my fault, it was all my fault. I went through so much pain, all i wanted to do is cry. I cried for awhile and then i relized you werent coming home to me, you werent gonna be next to me letting me let out everything i ever felt. Everyone siad you werent good, and i should just let you go, i should have lisoned i should have trusted those who loved me. I let you enter my life fuck me over nad leave like i was just a piece of meat. I no u didnt care, i no because i sat there calling you and all you did was ignore my call. I needed you but all you wanted to do was get rid of me like i was yesturdays trash. I didnt want to give up i didnt want to lison to those who new the truth, i wnated to make thigns work, i wanted things to be better, because i needed you in my life. I should havel isoned to my fwends i should have realized thast you didnt care, but i didnt. I let me self become to attached, and just when i was willing to give up, you siad you were gonna give me a secound chance. I loved you but you thought i was just a gurl willing to spend her money, her time, her energy on a punk like you. I wish i would have lsioned to everyone else, because you hurt me in ways i could never understand. I cried when you used me the secound time, and i wanted to give up all hope, i was devestated, i wanted to die right there. I thought you were this fwend that would love me, care for me, understand me, nad would be there when i needed. But i lead my self to belive that you were something that you werent, im sry i put you thorugh that its not your fault im the one who belived that you were someone that you werent!

What do you do when you have lost everone you ever loved? What do you do when life goes on, but you fee like your standing still? what do you do when no one is around? What person in your life do u turn to when you need to cry? What do you do when you go to sleep crying, and wake up crying about the same dam thing? What do you do when all you want to do is smile? What do you do when you have lost the strength and hope and love to go on? What do you do when u wake up in the morning only feeling like shyt? What do u do when you need someoen to talk to? What do you do when you go to sleep wishing nad praying u wont wake in the morning? What do you do when the one person you loved and who truly understood you was no longer there? What do u do when all you want to do is cry but you have to pretend everything is alright? What do you do when your always there for fwends, but they always seem to busy for your needs? What od you do when all you feel like doing is throwing up? What do you do when you have lost all hope in life? Truly what do you do?

Have you ever cut? Have you ever wished someone cared? Have you ever wished life was over because you couldnt handle all the rejection? I have you ever been hurt by the one you love? Have you ever just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry until there was no more tears? Have you ever wanted to die? Have you ever had thoughts about things normally would never cross your mind? Have you ever thought you would od anything just to get out of were you are? Have you ever wanted to run away? Have you ever put a smile on when you feel like crying? Have you ever laughed when you felt like dieing? Have you ever felt that no one cared about you? Have you ever became this image that peopel want you to be? Have you ever prayed that some day some where someone would care about you as much as you care about them? Have you ever dreamed about that perfect live, but woke up to a nightmare? Have you ever stopped eating cuz' you hated the way you looked? Have you ever just gave up on everyone nad everything that has ever gone righti n your life, your love, your fwends, your family? Well i do everything? Have you ever done these things?

I want to cry when i think of you Brain i love you so much you mean e verything to me August 2 will be three months sence you died and i cant bare to have that day come I miss you with all my heart I cant belive i let you I cant belive you left my side I cant belive you left the way you did killing your self you dont no how much it hurt me brain ur my world, and i jsut want to cry when ever i think about you or the things you have done for me with out u my world would be gone Im sry for making you do what i did and i wish i was there to help you out as you did for me i feel like a failure i feel like it was my fault i lost you I feel like i lost my only being People just dont understnad what you ment to me I wish u were here, i wish i was in ur arms i wish i coulod cry to you, i wish i was there to be right next to you Luagh joking, crying and laughing somemore I love you Brain dont ever forget that alright i miss you with all my heart dont forget me! RIP Brain

Sometimes i wish that he understood how i felt I just wish that he could get it that i have alot on my plate right now I wish i could cry in his arms I wish he could just hold me and not ask questions i wish i could be on thep hone iwht him and he doesnt have to ask whatz wrong he just nows how fucked up my life is and sometime i cant take it anymore i love him to death but sometimes I wish he just new instead of me telling him but once again the thing about him being a guy ruins everything i wish why cant he just understand me and get why i feel the way i do i mean its hard for a gurl like me to lose her best fwend nad be reminded of it every day sometiems you ahve to break down but for me breaking down is just kepeing to my self Im sry if this scares you im sry if you dont like it but its me and i wish you understood!

I loved you once but not anymore Its you that I use to adore I loved lookin into you bright brown eyes But now when I look into them all I can see are cries Its all your fault that you played me I thought I would be the only one that you would see I will always hate you for breaking my heart Your sad because YOU made us be apart Now you cant have me back and playin me is what you regret Its that chick you shouldn't of EVER met Your life is now what it seems The only place you can see me is in your dreams!*

I see how much our love has grown I see how much you love me But i have a few questions i wish i knew Will your love for me stay true and only to me? Or will your love fade? Will you still love me in 50 years when my hair turns gray? Because you the reason i sleep at night and wake in the day Will i ever get to old for you? As in you wont want me anymore Or will our stay true? Will you ever talk about me behind my back and tell your friends something like i dont love that little whore? Or will you tell them i love her and that wil never change? Will you ever get sick and tired of me being around? Or will you ever hit me with such range? Will you start looking for love again because it was only me you found? I know your wondering why im askng all of this Its because i‘ve been hurt before Will you still along the years give me a hug and a kiss? Will i ever become a bore? please anwers my questions that i have ask I love you and always will I know there is alot more to see behind the mask but I love you

Why do fwends say they love you and would do anything for you so you give your fwendship heart to them hopeing they will stick to there word But when you make 1 mistake she walks out on you like your a door matt You tell her you love her and sry for the mistake you made she says they want our fwendship back So you work hard making her understand that you wont make that mistake again she treat you like shyt cuz she think you cant change Then she tells ytour fwends not to be fwends with you becasue ur gonna hurt them and mess up the same way you did to her YOu sit for hours talking to your fwends making them understand you amde 1 mistake and you have learned NEVER to make that mistake again At least once a week I sat there cleaning up the mess that ******* made And im sick of it, im sick have having to explain myself and you no what****** my fwends no i have changed and im done with your lie your crying your deseving Im sick of your bullshyt your lies the way you want to distroy my life well i got news for you my life is distroyed because 1 of you 2 because of my mistakes, and im sry if you cnat fogive me but im sick of trying to make thigns better between us Leave me out of your sad depressed life I dont need to be involved! To *******

I never really knew you You were just another friend But when I got to know you, I let my heart unbend. I couldn't help past memories that would only make me cry I had to forget my first love and give love another try So I've fallen in love with you and I'll never let you go I love you more than anyone I just had to let you know And if you ever wonder why I don't know what I'll say But I'll never stop loving you each and every day My feelings for you will never change Just know my feelings are true Just remember one thing I Love You!

When i think of you and all you ahve done for me Im glad ur by my side thanks for making me relize the things i do are wrong thanks for being there for me when i needed you the most! Even when your scared out of your mind your still standing by me Giving me a hand! I love you to death your wonderful in many different ways I hope you no just what you mean to me and what excatly you did on July 17th You made me relize what i needed to do to make things better im glad i have you in my life and im glad your willing to give me support and do anythign for me when i need you I love u wiht all my heart thanks for everything

You say you love me You say you care about me You say you would do anything for me Why do you ahve to lie? Im always here telling you bout my life and all you do is say yeah yeah yeah You dont care what goes on im my life im sure you wouldnt care, if i didnt say another word in my life When fwends come over you act like the prefect mother but when they leave you treat me like a bug you shu me away and say be quite im watching a tv show that i recorded and its more important Why cant you just let me do what i want instead of sitting there treating me like shyt my fwends wish they had my life they dont no what you do behind closed doors Why cant you be the mother everyone thinks you are why do youy ahve to treat me like shyt why do you ahve to down talk me and act like im nothing I wish you understood that i want a mother who will actually love me and will care about me I hate you mom, andi have a new mother YOur not my mom anymore a mother wouldnt do this to me! Ur no longer my mother ur just a person named Annette!

I right all of these my self, on personal experiences, or my fwends experiences, thanks for those who said that they are really good. I try my best to put ones people can relate to. well anyways many pepople have asked me if i write these so im just letting you no my aim is SexyBrunette09 so yeah if you ahve quesitons just im me okay Luvs me

Feeling so sad and sorry for myself... Sorrow and pity-no one can help. People push me away and I push back. Though there is always something my heart will lack. It's hard nowadays to get what I want. Cause people are mean and they will taunt. Rejected, like the ugly duckling. Or the pig who is always left out of suckling. If you say you love me, why can't you accept me? I try to hide the pain in a smile. But some things I can't hold off for a mile. Rejection sucks. I feel like a hockey puck. Being tossed from one emotion to one emotion. It's like a cursed love potion. And if it goes on this way, My heart will be bitter, cold and at dismay. Rejection is a bummer. It comes to me like winter, fall, spring and summer. So please accept me for who I am, faults and all, Cause one day you might fall, and also feel rejected.