Do you ever just stop, and think? Do you ever only think about one thing and one thing only? Well I do. Certainly now much more than ever. I just keep thinking about one thing. Always. Every little thing reminds me of this one thing. It's just unfair. I hate it, but I love it so much. I love the rememberance... being able to think about it. But I hate how it floods my mind, making it physically impossible to think of anything else unless I'm completely immersed in something else, which hasn't been a lot lately. It's like, you don't think about this thing for a while, then, it's like something opens your eyes, and it's all you think about. It's really a little frustrating. Sometimes I just feel as though my mind has been taken over, and I love it. But there's nothing I can really do to fix it. I'm sorry to be so vague in writing this, as most of you are probably ridiculously clueless about this. Well, that's just what happens. I have to be vague. Anywho, next on the agenda.. I got a job application today, prettymuch for the purpose of having a flow of money for a while, for cellphone bills etc. (well, the cellphone bills I will be having soon because I am hopefully getting a cellphone following a job) I am pretty excited for that. Thinking again. Blah. There are just so many things I want to say. But I just, can't right now. I don't know why. I'm just afraid that I might fuck up. It makes me think of that saying, that if you don't say what you feel, what if you never get a chance to say it. And that scares me so much, but not enough to actually say how I feel. Idk, it bothers me sometimes, just the fact that I am too much of a pansy to really just flat-out say things like that. And I leave them bottled up inside. It's prob. bad for me. Idk, blah, I'm just afraid of the past, like being too forward and pushing people away. Sometimes I just don't feel like I'm worth it enough to stick around sometimes. I guess I just lack reassurance in this sense. Oh well. That's all the rant I can put in a public entry for now. So, just to taunt you, I am going to write a completely non-vague private one. Muahaha. I can't stop thinking. I love/hate it. I can't control my thoughts.