in spanish.... i so love natashia. i get lost watching her, listening 2 her. im wearing her shawl thingie now, she said i could keep it till monday when we tape the titanic scene. (im gonna be rose) it kinda smells like her but it kinda doesnt. not like it matters, i keep sliding it up over my face anyway, its so soft. i think im going so crazy i never longed 4 anyone else so much in my life. n its not like i can really show it cuz im still not sure about her... im dying 2 ask, dying 2 tell. but i cant. i had this dream the other nite n i think it mighta been a sign 2 not say or do anything... me n her were in the nurses office, lying on a table fooling around even tho we're supposed 2 be watching this movie on the overhead. she takes this beige flipflop n puts it over her mouth n acts like shes gonna kiss me. we're laughing alot. i get up the nerve, move the shoe off her mouth so nothing is b/t our lips. she stops like a inch b4 they meet n goes, "r u serious?" n i say yes. so we start kissing, but then suddenly she stops n pulls away, saying "im sry i cant do this." i say, "r u really straight then?" n she nods yes, n gets off me n runs away. it was the saddest dream of my life.