well todays been hell. i have no energy 2 move the only reason im out of the house was cuz theres no way i was staying home alone w that asshole. the other day they found my prozac in my drawer, mom said she was looking for a pencil but thats bullshit she knows i always keep my diary n private shit in there. so anyway this morning i wake up 2 the sound of the beasts voice, him n her are talking about the prozac and hes saying all this shit like i always have to ruin his vacation every time he takes off work and that im a piece of shit and he really hates me and i was like wat the hell this is not something i wanna wake up 2. so i went and jumped in the shower right away so i could get out of there. then b4 i left i went in the kitchen 2 get a drink and mom was talking 2 me but i wasnt responding cuz i knew if i did id just start bawling. so finally she gets it out of me wats wrong and we have this argument and i leave and when i get back everyones getting ready 2 go 2 mcdonalds and i have 2 go cuz its theos bday. i had kinda calmed down and was trying 2 ignore him n mom and so after they ate, cuz i refused 2, kate n theo went back in the playroom n it was just me and them 2 sitting there and dads like,r u gonna pout all day or are u gonna smile for ur brother on his birthday. i was like damn he doesnt even have the decency 2 say hes sorry after he knows everything i heard him say. but then again y the hell would i expect that from him. and he just kept getting on me and finally i had it i was like fuck off. and he totally flipped out getting in my face and we were screaming at each other right in the middle of fucking mcdonalds. and everytime id cuss hed just get madder and madder so finally im like wat,ur allowed 2 cuss me out but i cant cuss back at u? and that bastard leaned across the table and spat in my face. i couldnt beilieve it. i sat there totally shocked and he started saying how he was gonna punch me right in the face and knock out my teeth so then id be toothless as well as being blind. mom was tryin 2 push him back down in his seat and ppl were staring and i was bawling... then we finally left and when we pulled up at home moms telling me 2 not go in the house but just leave until we both cool off so im like well where the fuck am i supposed 2 go? im not gonna walk around looking like this. so i was like im going over marias. n shes like o no ur not ur not bringing our problems over there. so i was like watever n started walking off but dad came after me saying i better not disappear cuz theos got cake n presents so i just went in the house. i went right in my room and was throwing everything in2 my suitcase and my backpack i wanted 2 get the hell outta there. im calling ms ellwell 2night 2 c if i can stay with her cuz i cant take his shit anymore. im so hurt and i cant stop crying i keep crying like every fucking five minutes i cant control myself. and he wants me out anyway he said i better find some where else to sleep cuz it wont be under his roof. i really wish i could get the hell away from here.