I don't know what I want. Being a firefighter, which I've already started, sounds AMAZING. But in the back of my head I love English, I love literature, and I want to be an English teacher soooo bad. I also want to write a book. A writer. That would be my top thing on the list of wants, but I wouldn't be able to provide for anyone I know. But know what also sounds fun? Owning my own bookstore. That's also a venue. That would be so sick. Man oh man. My math report card is gonna kill me. I had a D+, but I has a sub the whole quarter, and so my real teacher came back, and she said that the grades were wrong, so now I have an F. Close to a D tho. I can get it fixed with extra credit. woop woop. Slash not. Now onto my relationship. It is driving me crazy. I love her, no one doubt that, but all we do now is not see eachother, say "your cute" at least a thousand times, kiss, and get eachother mad and call eachother jerks, then try and be sweet to fix it. I just don't understand. I never see her. Even/especially at lunch. And it DOES NOT go both ways. I have my set of friends, people I can deal with and like, and my friends like her, they're friends as well, but I can't stand most of the people she knows. Then again I don't actually know them very well. They're the "drama kids". I like some of them. Zach is actually one of my friends, Brittany is, I like Shannon, I like Kelsey, I like Dan, but they aren't all freaks. They love drama, but they don't go ass crazya bout it. I can't go in there. They chill with Davis at lunch. NOOOO way. Me and Peter went in there once at lunch to get my backpack, and they all stopped talking and stared us down until we left. It was like seeing hungry wolves noticing you for the first time. Then there's the ASB room. That's the other place she hangs out. No. Just no. People I despise hang out in there. All the overachieving people who might be on speed. I mean wow. Relax. Today I was walking to drama class, that sounds hypocritical, but I'm just in it so I can do stagecraft, and she was walking with that one chick, I think her names like Vannessa? Victoria? I know I'm way off, but she was in the breakfast club. And I know she noticed me, there's no way she couldn't have, but totally blew me off and just kept walking, so I yell at her "Fine jerk walk off" or something stupid like that. I don't think she heard. I'm done. And prom. Aren't I supposed to look forward to it? I actually really wanted to go, I was liek yeah, this will rock ahhaha. But then she liek forced me to ask her. I thought it was like an unspoken rule, you're going out, you go together, so she made me ask, and HAD to throw in that if i didn't want to Dylan would take her. The one guy I don't want her to go with asks her behind my back. I don't care if it's a "if he doesn't want to" ask my fucking permission. And now it's her thing to bug me about not wanting to go. I was joking holy hell. But now that this crap and getting bugged about it, I'm looking forward to it less, even though I still wanna go. But why bring up Dylan, just to piss me off? Man I NEED to see Robert, and I keep saying that I can, then shit comes up, and BAM, I can't. GAY, he's one of my best friends, and he's my only friend that's straight edge, only GOOD friend anyway. He's the only guy I can relate to in beliefs, and ideas, music haha, were both weekend geeks. He probably is my best friend. Even though I never see him. Man I miss that fucker. I carved him a whale. Yeah, a whale, how many of you have done that? Though so. XXX