history

I found an old suicide note, written in blood, from way back in Kansas. That was pretty distressing. I seem to forget, so easily, everything from way back then. But, i was reading Diana*'s letters to me, which was nice. I've been trying to find mum's suicide note from last year (or, whenever it was), but i don't remember what i did with it. Oh,m she's still alive, by the way.

Anyway, that note was found amongst a load of other, old, art. That's where the doll scene picture came from.

*Diana: A girl, left behind when i moved back from Kansas. Still in touch, but keeping distances (avoiding painful longing, etc).

Read 4 comments
I wrote a suicide note once. I burnt it. I could barely read it anyway. I was shaking too much from sobs at the time to write legibly.

I like your ramblings.


And, I will never have new memories, because this person is not alive anymore, and I will never see them again to be able to have new memories. But the old ones will not fade because I think of them every day.


[Anonymous]
The mind spins aren't anything more than all of the feelings I've pushed away over an amount of time building up to a point at which they burst and attack me suddenly; what happens is my mind begins to sort of spin, as if I've become detatched from my body, and the feelings come in voices. It only happens when I'm completely alone, because otherwise I have something to distract me from the feelings/voices and fight them (which gives me an
[Anonymous]
...intense headache afterwards). The only way I know how to describe the feelings/voices is to imagine yourself sitting in a cafeteria with a bit of a headache and hearing all of the conversations and being able to pick out a few words here and there. The voices are always the same people, though I wouldn't recognize them from real life. There are always two specific voices that I recognize, one male and one female. That's the best way I know to
[Anonymous]
...describe it. Apologies if it didn't make very much sense. Farewell.
[Anonymous]