I've had two bad experiences at the toll booth that have temporarily infuriated me as I make my journey back home across the bridge. Both involve unfriendly middle-age women & both involve change. Shall we jump into the shallow end of the story? My first encounter with unfriendly middle-age woman #1 (hereforth referred to as UMAW1) was about a year or so ago coming home late at night after going to the movies with Tyler. Coming up to the toll booth I realized I had no $1's, only a $10, $20, and some odd change. The toll for the bridge is $2.50, so to make my life easier and feel as though I've gained a dollar in the experience I greeted the toll booth lady and gave her a $10 and .50 cents. Looking quizzically at the amount her demeanor changes and she promptly tells me, "Oh (this is the attitude kind of oh, not the understanding kind) we don't do that here." Confused as to what she doesnt do I simply stare back up at her as she tosses the .50 cents into my car, and then makes change for $7.50. Now not only have I lost .50 cents to the floor mats of my vehicle, but I've also gained another . 50 cents to jingle around in my purse. So what exactly don't you dp UMAW1? Is the answer make logical change. Or perhaps its something simpler like count.... Whatever it is you have failed miserably at math and I hope one day someone brings you $2.50 in nickles, forcing you to...add. UMAW2 wasnt quite as bad. I was coming home frmo the dentist when I realized I had spent my last bills on gas. I found $1 in the glove compartment but had to make the other $1.50 in change. Being carefully to try and only use quarters and dimes to make it easier I make almost the whole amount entirely in with those, using only two nickles to meet my goal. I smile as I approach the woman and hand her the cash, about to compliment her on her crab broach when she shot me a look of disgust that made my stomach churn. Almost infuriating immediately she throws the two quarters into the change counter and grunts with an annoyed tone as I open my mouth again. The "good to go" light comes on and as I tell her to have a nice day, she tells me to get an actual job that pays and stop using pointless money. What? Since when has changed become pointless. 100 pennies still technically make a $1, and should you, TOLL BOOTH LADY, really be giving me career advice? I'm a college kid home on summer break and I have a better job than you. The nerve :) Haha these things really dont bother me as much as they humor me when it comes to retelling them. In more exciting news however I caught a frog today and have decided to keep him. Well more so a toad, and I actually saved him. But thats another story...

so that thing i said i probably wouldnt do... i didnt. the other day when i babysat i clogged the toilet with dog crap (dont ask). it overflowed out the front door and into the stairwell. i had to stick my hand down the toilet to unclog it. when i was walking back to get papertowels, i stepped in more dog crap. thats the shitty version (pun intended) of the story, but it was an experience I wont forget. I'll be legal april 16th! im kinda upset you have to be 18 to play bingo, but only like 20 more days till i can. im just blabbering now.

im still so young next month ill be 18 and i dont think im on the right path but this path is perfect for me why isnt it right? johnathon?

i think i might make a mistake soon. ok sike. i know i wont, but i feel like i should. is it worth it??? no. ugh

i think i might make a mistake soon. ok sike. i know i wont, but i feel like i should. is it worth it??? no. ugh

bought my first thing from starbucks today. it wasnt amazing as everyone claims. thankgod im not hooked on caffeine like 80% of the world... i miss some of the things i used to do, especially writing. i miss writing in this to. its like i kicked an addiction to the curb and im starting up again. i wonder if my writing will change much, if at all. since my last write little has changed. senior year, still with trevor, i have my good and bad days but otherwise life is alright. my parents have quit smoking but theyve become a lot more aggressive. it will pass. i have an art history paper to write. kinda lame. but hey, ill be back

its gonna be hard

today was awesome X 8. This morning I got up at 4:44 and left my house at 6. Picked up Jake and Jenny and we all went down to OC. The drive was incredibly easy (I had been fretting it all weekend), and the group was so much fun. We walked the entire boardwalk in the drizzle then split up. I walked to Trev's place and they found Connor. I stayed at Trevors for awhile, then he took me to the Haunted House, which legitimately scared me, and I enjoyed it all. After that we met up with his group and went shopping and to lunch, came back and played apples to apples and watched jackass II and cuddled. I had to leave early:O( but the ride home was fun and I had a great time overall. I'm gonna do it a lot this summer. fuck school.

Since I sold that famous pair of pants, not much has happened in my world. A life of school, work, family, trevor has become repetitious, with only a recent change. I've had more time for friends and housework lately, which pleases mom. Sadly that cuts hours elsewhere, and it happens to be in the field of Trevor. Hopefully once I get out of school though I'll be able to spend more time with him. He means for too much to me & he graduates June 1. The only semi- eventful thing that has happened was prom, and I've got a reel full of photos to share. I miss writing in this. I need to make more time for it. love cats the fam my fav moms fav uncle gregs fav trevs fav just a good one:O)

The day I sold a famous author a pair of pants, and couldn't even iron them for him. After I clocked in, Kay asked me to look for a pair of pants in the back for a gentleman up front. I went back, searched and returned to break the news. Upon returning the gentleman told me he needed a wrinkless pair because he was staying in a hotel and needed to wear them that night. I went back again to look and found none. Then i came up front to ring him up. Polo procedure makes you ask the persons last and first name and when i did he quickly said no. "May I have your last name?" "No" "its for ret-" "returns and exchanges" he finished my sentence. "so you know the scam." "hahaha I know the scam." we talked like this for awhile and i told him his total. he paid in cash. "people freak out when they hear my name" "oh yeah?" yeah put the receipt in the bag and handed it to him. "You've probably read one of my books." (I thought he was joking so kinda sarcastically i said, " I like to read, try me...." "I'm John Grisham." and he walks away disbelief.....and the only damn thing i could think to say was, "have a nice day sir." he gave me the peace sign and walked out the door, not looking back. I'm currently awtching the rainmaker in AP Gov't and in the Middle of A Painted House and thats the only damn thing I could think of ??? i would've ironed his pants at my house had i known.

The day I sold a famous author a pair of pants, and couldn't even iron them for him. After I clocked in, Kay asked me to look for a pair of pants in the back for a gentleman up front. I went back, searched and returned to break the news. Upon returning the gentleman told me he needed a wrinkless pair because he was staying in a hotel and needed to wear them that night. I went back again to look and found none. Then i came up front to ring him up. Polo procedure makes you ask the persons last and first name and when i did he quickly said no. "May I have your last name?" "No" "its for ret-" "returns and exchanges" he finished my sentence. "so you know the scam." "hahaha I know the scam." we talked like this for awhile and i told him his total. he paid in cash. "people freak out when they hear my name" "oh yeah?" yeah put the receipt in the bag and handed it to him. "You've probably read one of my books." (I thought he was joking so kinda sarcastically i said, " I like to read, try me...." "I'm John Grisham." and he walks away disbelief.....and the only damn thing i could think to say was, "have a nice day sir." he gave me the peace sign and walked out the door, not looking back. I'm currently awtching the rainmaker in AP Gov't and in the Middle of A Painted House and thats the only damn thing I could think of ??? i would've ironed his pants at my house had i known.

today started out rough, but its ok now. mom was not happy this morning and we all rowed with her. i took tyler out to get some fresh air and we chcked out the new safeway. i thought it was dumb everyone on the island is excited about a new grocery store, but honestly what else is there to be excited about? so we went there and blockbuster. afterwards i went to trevors for the day. it was nice to hang at his house and see his mom. we walked to mikes and played on the trampoline. i love them. im gonna get one when i turn 18. mom is very much anti-trampolines. anyway on the way home i felt bad for arguing with mom so i bought her some flowers. who cant be cheered up by flowers? apparently mom, but its ok. it is what it is and she came out of her mood soon enough. i know shes stressed, so i cant complain about it. came home and relaxed. it felt good. just watched tv and made some chocolate easter nests. they were fun. go download some songs by the decemberists i dont know what im gonna do tomorrow but for some reason im excited. come on summer!

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms Turnaround, Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry Turnaround bright eyes Turnaround bright eyes Turnaround, every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be Turnaround, every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am Turnaround, every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you Turnaround, every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do speaking of eclipses there was one last night. who else was cool enough to see it? I got off work just as it was happening I fell asleep last Saturday Underneath polluted skies I walked alone in those Jersey nights And I Saw the board walk start to fall The emptiness starts to drown The quiet corners of this town tonight Late last night I made my plans It was the only thing I felt I could do Said goodbye to my best friend Sometimes there's no one left to tell you the truth It's gonna kill me the rest of my life Let me apologize while I'm still alive I know it's time to face All of my past mistakes It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life This is my all time low Somehow it feels so familiar Somehow it seems so familiar I feel like letting go And every second that goes by I'm screaming out for second tries This is the mess I've made These are the words I can't erase This is my life support Shutting down For the final time And it twists like a blade And kills me for the rest of my life If you won't forgive me the rest of my life Let me apologize while I’m still alive I know it's time to face All of my past mistakes It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life two songs minus some fluff that just describe my mood. sad with no reason. not even sad cause thats not the right word. whatever. I am happy. I have a surprise for everyone to see, but for now I have an essay to write

Ever let someone ge tto know the true side of you and then they dont trust you as much anymore? I think its an interesting situation. You gotta have faith Today I worked surprisingly hard on my schoolwork, played, and went to work work. Came home late and pissed some people off, but its nothing new. I'm tired of fighting everyone over little things. its happens New schedule is ok. Art first period is a joke. First off I'm terrible, second off its a very diverse and weird group. Trev's in it though:) Second period is AP Govt and as mucha s I need to pass it, its the class I'm doing the worst in probably. Ugh. I have a lot of good friends in their though. Third is World History which I really enjoy, but it is a TON of busy work. I like the teacher though so I shouldnt complain. Last period is English III. Dr. Wolff and I didnt start on good terms but we're thick as thieves now and I think she likes me. Class is very easy to pass. So tomorrow I'm dedicating myself to period 2 and 3 homework, finishing Trev's vday present, and hopefully getting out for a couple hours. yay. He hates this one; I love it. Sock Monster :Oo I was cold.... Ghetto walmart outfit, but its warm

So, I'm looking for a car. Dont get me wrong, I've got nothing against my truck, but I just dont think its the vehicle for me right now. I need something much more reliable, and smaller. So, we'll see. NHS meeting, prom committee, lo nuestro, blockbuster, chels moms work, chels, home, marinas, home, mike rice, school, mike rice, mike rossback, home. Here. That was my agenda for the day. All starting after-school of course. I'm excited to work on the prom committee, and I think it'll be a lot of fun. I had a good time today. Started out "ehh" and ended good. Hanging out with the Chels and Marina was fun. We had a good time in Lo Nuestro and we got some fun stuff for class. Then Marina and I watched Americano, which was a random, but ok movie. Kinda pointless but with point at the same time. Afterwards I picked Mike Rice up and we went to the basketball game. I dont care what anyone thinks, hes a good guy. He bought me a pack of zebra gum (with tattoos!) and held the door open. Chilvary is not dead. And I mean come on guys, this is coming from a stoner, who was STONED at the time. Then I drove him and Mike Rossbach home. I'm really glad that I'm close with Mike (rossbach), we sang r & b on the ride home and got to talk. Now I'm waiting for my bo to call me back, and looking for some car deals. Oh, I got a 100% on my Autobiography and Mrs. Levy read it out loud in class. Thats TWO papers of mine shes read outloud which ties me for first place with most read outloud. Its so freaking cool.

1. Put your music player on shuffle. 2. Press forward for each question. 3. Use the song title as the answer to the question. No cheating! What does next year have in store for me? L-O-V-E - Dane Cook What's my love life like? Spit it Out- Slipknot hahahaha What do I say when life gets hard? Dumb- Nirvana What Do you think upon waking up? Too Bad- Nickelback What describes your relationship future? My Damnation- Static X man my love lifes gonna suck, haha. What song will I dance to at my wedding? californication- rhcp What do you want as a career? Life Wasted- Pearl Jam Your favorite saying? Punkass/You're outta your fucking mind- Dane Cook Favorite place? Wait and Bleed- Slipknot What do you think of your parents? Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades- Brand New What's your Pornstar name? Thank-you and Goodnight- Lewis Black haha thats a good one Where would you go on a first date? When the Sun Goes Down- Arctic Monkeys Drug of choice? Fires of Hell- Halloween Soundtrack Describe yourself: Wind it Up- BNL What is the thing I like doing most? The Cowboy in Me- Tim McGraw The song that best describes my school principal? At a Medium Pace- Adam Sandler What is my state of mind like at the moment? Changes- Godsmack How will I die? Off He goes- Pearl Jam I was unaware of my manliness^. I liked that survey but its all trevor's music on my media player. so dont worry kids im not that heavy into metal. just a lil though. so if i made you mad today tell me would you love me tomorrow please? i have a lot of things i need to work on.

I had a very very good Christmas. First of all I think everyone liked what I gave them & I'm happy about that because I put a lot of thought into presents this year. I still wanna get my mom a nice piece of jewelry though, but that can wait till her birthday I guess. I also recieved a lot of really nice presents and I feel kinda spoiled. Mom $ dad got me an ipod and accesories and such as well as a nice pair of rollerblades a couple toys. Like the nerf gun as shown above. Trevor bought me my favorite movie (my best friends wedding)! some lotions and nail stuff, and a superman game he waited in line for at like 3 in the morning. I'm so lucky. I really shouldnt take advantage of things as much as I do. Overall it was a great Christmas. I got to spend a lot of time with my grandparents, parents, and trevor and I really had a good time. Yesterday I went across the bridge with Melissa to shop and lunch, and came home with Trevor and watched jackass II. I was surprised cause I thought it was really funny. & today I went ice skating with Marina which was a lot of fun. I really like talking to her and we have a lot more in common than I thought. Now I'm gonna eatsa pizza, perhaps rollerblade, and maybe play a game with my parents. --Kayla

im tired of routine. tired of my mother though i love her very much. tired of rules and arguing and yelling. tried of being restrained and tired of breaking restraints. tired of working around schedules, working with girls, being the odd man out. tire dof fighting with my friend, taking advantage of people, trusting someone untrsutworthy. basically, im tired. I flipped through so old entries and found photos so im gonna put some up now too and narrate them. Its only sad cause he's 12. Homecoming '06. playing in the photo program Homecoming B&W Worst picture taken Ice Skating And another random homecoming I hope I look back and smile:O) --Kayla

im starting to get into hip hop. is that scary to anyone besides me? "damn im fresh, dont need the listerine" those are white boys too^. I'm not looking forward to working today. 3-11:30. Ughhh, I think I'll be doing a lot of folding. A lot of folding. Oh well, its money, right kids? My longest and truest best friend and I have frown apart lately. I've been trying to hangout with her but she blows me off, and anytime she wants to hang I already have plans. Its kinda rough and it has something to do with Trevor but I'm not sure yet. She's currently not talking to me, despite my want to talk it out. We'll see how that goes. I have to tell Trevor something that'll hurt him today. Ever find out something you didnt want to know? I found it out, and I think I have to tell him about it. Que Lastima. I need to do something constructive with my time. --Kayla

I havent been home much lately. Nor have I been on the internet. Busy month! Working at Polo is alright. Kinda long hours but nothing complaint-worthy. I like it there, even though its kinda strict work. The people are pretty cool though. Besides work I've had teen court, and I won that case. I felt terrible for the client though. Maybe defense isnt for me. Eh, I dunno. Ive got plenty of time to decide. I saw my uncle for the first time since, well since awhile. He talks weird. Apart from that I've been hanging with Trevor and Tyler. Mom's getting on my case about that. I think its kinda getting to her that I'm not at home as much. Dont get me wrong I love my mother and want to honor her, but sometimes I just need to be out and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on highschool cause of it. They normally say mother knows best though. Who knows, a solution will present itself. I'm too lazy to look anyway. But yeah, I'm liking spending time with Tyler. Its nice to hangout. I took him to the school play, and I wanted to take him to Dracula (amazing) too but I met up with Kyle. Mom says Tyler misses me when I'm at work. I <3 that kid. I <3 that Trevor kid too. First conflict-free relationship. --Kayla