my feeling was that i didnt really want to be there. painting, and not having glue. i only lingered around longer because i wanted some vegetarian pizza. which i ate, along with some bread sticks, and then left. my mother says to take it as a compliment when people "copy" things that you do. well...i must have problems because i dont like when people "copy" what i do, or say, or paint. maybe that's just my own selfish thoughts? i still dont like it. i named her shapeshifter, but i wanted her to be blank and i wanted someone else to be shapeshifter. maybe when i edit my thoughts the names will change and i will feel better about not lying to myself in my head. i'll just have to lie to her and when she finds out she'll have to take my opinion and deal with it for once. none of my clothing is clean and i want to go to the laundry mat with winfred. but i dont need to go because the dryer is working again. i want to go to the park with anyone and let blue run around. and i didnt tell her this. i didnt tell her what i want to do because she'll want to too. we were talking about soulmates. we were up till three in the morning speaking of soulmates. he doesnt know if he's looking or if he's waiting. and i'm too afraid to do either. and then i went to bed. i went pee and then i went to bed and fell asleep and had a dream of dark dirty water with white forms swimming in it. i never remember dreams. -amanda