the thing is that when she hopped up and down the bleachers i knew it was so he would look up and see. and i had my head down, but my eyes looked to him and i saw him looking. so the thing is. i love her. but i hate her. and the thing is, i stood up and left her there and walked home with shapeshifter and we never said a word. we didnt say one word and i walked in my door and ate a milano because that's all i can do right now. eat a fucking milano and wish the other boy, not the boy that cares, but the other boy next to him would notice me for once. eating milanos and wishing is not a fun process, well...eating milanos is good. -amanda