my tummy feels bloated, i had a cheeseburger. studying the chemistry isnt going to happen tonight, even though my final is tomorrow. i have this problem where it seems so possible to study while i'm sitting at school, but once i get home i'm unable to force myself into it. a rainbow koosh ball sits on my unopened chemistry book and i'm getting notes together for the essay i have to write in english tomorrow. i finished my red powerade and i keep eating these gummi lifesavers that are very good. this boy that is my friend made me cry in english today. i dont cry at school, i just dont do that, i dont cause scenes. he is my friend though, i care what he thinks. he yelled at me. he told me i was all these things. i cried when the bell rang and he walked away. ardo put his arm around me and told me it was ok. fucking stupid. i will never do that again. i'll take harsh words and swallow them, i wont cry again. brush my hair out of my eyes and when you touch my face i feel something inside kind of twirl? jump? dance? when you touch me i feel different. touch me again. -amanda