i shouldnt drive when i'm in that mood. that mood where i know i'm going to make an idiot of myself, but i say odd things anyways. i shrug to the mood. and i shrug to my driving. but i like it, the mood. i feel like i could drill a screw into my head and smile about it. the sky should be cloudy more often. the sounds should consantly be filled with the Shins and rain tapping on the roof. so dammit to the fact that it barely rains in California. and dammit to the fact that i dont own a cd by the Shins. dont you love how he never got them in trouble? no one got in trouble even though they did so much shit. so much shit that i doubt i'll ever do. i dont see myself trying. i'm not really interested. not really. i guess i felt too much about it i cant feel anymore. just about that. just about a lot. but i'm never over the moments. and when you called this morning, it was the first time i spoke. the first time i was heard. all day. so someone was thinking about me as i rested on my mattress. warm and cozy. i barely left it today. for a bagel. for a pink mouse. i fed it to Five. and he ate it alive. and that's good for him. i'm tired. -amanda