my friend tyler sent me some songs from his band's cd. he's such a good singer. i really like their music. anyone that reads this should check them out: http://www.myspace.com/startinginthedark they're really good. i pretty much know they'll be famous one day. last night i went to a movie with nick, dallace, jessie, gavin, whitney, jaydub, and mckay. we saw Baby Mama (which, i dunno, i'd give it like three 1/2 to four stars) and half way through, dallace jessie and mckay left. :/ then jaydub was crying. i cuddled with nick which was nice but i kept thinking of jake like i always do. and aghh. i like nick a ton but i'm in love with jake still. and nick told me he was in love with me... i don't know what to do. everyone is telling me to just focus on jake and i want to but nick's like...irresistable or something haha. listen to me talk like i'm all older than i am. ha. i don't know. i've done virtually nothing all day. i hate how lazy and unmotivated i am all the time. i wish i had the willpower to just get up and go. in fact, i think i'll go take a walk soon. cos it'll be sunset soon and i really need a good sunset walk along the canal. just be alone and think. if i could i would leave my phone here but i'm so attached to that thing. maybe i'll start leaving it at home when i'm at school. or at least in my locker during school so i dont feel the need to check it every five minutes. appearantly, tomorrow is National Kiss Your Mate Day? the random information nick gives me, honestly. i just realized, like just this second, that i'm scared of change. and i know everyone is, but i'm so frightened of it. maybe that's why i'm so scared to grow up. every time i make really good friends, just when we start being super close, i lose them. and i have amazing friends right now, and i'd hate to lose them. and then there's jake, and i never want to lose him. i'm so scared of change.