it's getting harder and harder to make myself feel motivated to try things. like guitar. i mean longboarding, that's going great. but i feel like i just completely fail at guitar and i'm never going to improve. i feel like the few things i learn just slip out and then i'm just trying to learn songs by other people but i can never even sound like the artist. ugh. i just don't even know. like i want to get better but everything is just so frustrating. i've memorized like 10 chords max, and i have no idea about the notes. ugh. colty and i jammed today, but it's like, he told me the chords and i couldn't even play them how he wanted. he wants to start a ska project, but i don't know how to play ska. i tried, and failed. ugh. whatever. i guess i'll just have to keep trying... he says he just wants me to have fun but honestly i don't think i can have much fun when i'm sucking so terribly. anyway, lagoon tomorrow. that should be way fun, just me and colty. i'm excited. it's so unbelievably great how he is my very best friend. this whole thing is just great. thanks for being there/mine/great/amazing/honest/faithful/loving/butmostlymine.