right now im trying my best to make something inside of me go away-for real. i hope that by listening to ninni everything'll be ok... this week something in me snapped... my bottled-up emotions suddenly bursted. i can't seem to put the right words to describe what i feel.... all these years i've been having a bloody battle with myself. i've tried to bury it in the deep recesses of my mind. my concious and subconcious mind refuse to accept it. it worked for me alright for the past years, learned not to yield to these feelings, shunned it when it kept on pricking and knocking and pestering. i've learned that we all have our inner battles and demons-insecurities. i refuse to acknowledge mine. i thought it useless, unnecessary, it'll only ruin me. but i was wrong. all these denials and struggles led to one breaking point and bam!-it's shattering caught me completely off guard. it's no use to look back and wish that i should've done better, that i shouldn't have let myself be swept away by the horrors of puberty. it was all my fault, and now i'm fcukin suffering the consequences. i can't let it out. there's no way i'm going to spill it out to another soul. i can't trust the people around me-for years i've kept myself aloof and distant, no matter how close i am to them. now i've realized that i'm the kind of person whom you can't easily please, the kind who'll get close to you, get to know you and yet you will, one day realise you dnt know nothing of her. it's the tagalog phrase, "hindi ako madaling paluguran". you'll know me and yet you dnt know me. i tried so hard you know. i tried my damnest to socialize, to get close to everybody, but i dnt know why i'm like this. why i can't seem to be myself with everybody else. even with my own bestfriend. i can count on my both hands the number of people who'd seen and been with the real me. and with their company, the real me surfaces. it's crazy. i dnt have a split personality. Far from it. it's just that i have this feeling, something inside hinders me to show myself, to speak myself. i know i have to overcome this or i'll never be happy for the rest of my goddamn life. and there's no one in this world who'll understand. not even you.

"ACHTUNG!

Michelle may actually be a spider-human hybrid

From Go-Quiz.com