what do you do when your life just seems wastful. what do you do when your thoughts make you wish you didnt think so much well i dont know because if i did know i wouldnt be falling apart with all these un answer questions. i really really wish he still had feelings for me i know he doesnt its hard to have feels for someone you barly talk to anymore. it hurts really really bad that i cant stop thinking about him if i could i would stop but i just cant its in possible and im inpossible to be with. i wonder all the time why im so alone why i havent had a boyfriend in 3 years i asked myself well maybe im gay or unatractive. most boys say im well except for him hes the only person i truely care about that tells me those thing well and amanda. i think that is one reason why i cant just let him go. i feel like if i let him go i will be alone for the rest of my life and regret not tring. i just wait to be with him. noone else. it supied but i dont care anymore. i just wish i could see how much i like him or even feel the same way about he. to tell the truth i get jealous when he talks about meeting a girl. but then agian i try to tell myself well hes there and im here and he sould be happy even if that means me being unhappy.im use to giving up on that sort of that for some else can be happy im just a sucker and to nice. he sould be happy.i wish i could tell him things but i just get this feeling if i do he will not feel the same and things will be come strange around us. i really miss talking to him like we use to but he in collage and im still in high school for another two years. he sould be happy i sould just give up giving up is good for somethings and this i think is it. so i guess this is goodbye.