i jsut wrote this damn entry and it ddiint save.. so i guess.. ill do it again... i jsut found a tkcon me... it really sucked and it hurt like crap gettting it out of mi head.... butt its all good. mi cousin is getting married on mi darling shortys b-day.. so i cant go... hopefully mi parents swill so i can party... hehe... mom came home... she says se loves mi dad... butt he dont lvoe her... he said he married her bc he got her prgnent.. i dunno... i honestly want ehm to divorce bci t sux dealing with their crap... all the time since i was a kid. mi role model as a kid has cancer.. i tried talkin to his daughter (old friend) butt i didint know what to say.. its scary... he's such a wonderful man.... he doesnt deserver that.... joe wants to be friends with benefits.. butti dont... its cool that were friedns and everything....butt icant trust him yet,.... not like i did... ' im not looking for a relationship right now.. i was with one guy for ova a year... im good... he gave me everything... i know how my parents feell... it hink that why it doesnt botha me soo much,.... all nick wanted was me.. buti wanted everythin... like my dad... and when he dditnt get me he backstabbed me... butti was rude to him too... sooo... i dunno.. i am ova him... butt iwont 4get about him... neva.. none can replace what him and i had. mi summa is full... between working 3jobs and parties... i dont have time for sex/guys and drugs *hehe* im really not a drugee.. i smoke everyone knows that now... i havem y litl and shorty nad alycia.. turtle and of course my baby girl sarah.. guysa rent mi priority right now... andi know mi girls will make time for me...on the weekends ill have an 8-3 at the restaurant still bc thats what i wanna o then 4-11 shift carin for the elderley then during the week 7-7 shift or something like that... i dunno exactly.. im dealing though... i need to keep busy....no amtta whatt....im worn out and tired... butt thats ok... i have bills to pay and ppl to take care of