Man. Its gettin cold again! : (. Thats no good. I had a really good day yesterday. : ). So that makes up for it I guess. Lol. Today was good too. Im tired as hell though. I went to bed at two even, and didnt get up til about eleven. I just havent been getting enough sleep I suppose. I watched Cats and Dogs today. Thats a goofy movie, but pretty funny. : P. Then I napped. But now Im home and I will probably just watch tv all night. Ha ha. Ma I dont love her. Dont listen to her words. Shes tryina split up us love birds, but thats not it. You see me buyin her whips n shit? (No) You see me sendin her on trips n shit? (No) If the answers no, dont forget. How does she know ya then? I dont know.

Great day. : ). Sometimes I love my life. So let go. Jump in. Oh well what you waiting for? It's alright. Coz there's beauty in the breakdown. So let go. Just get in. Oh it's so amazing here. It's alright. Coz there's beauty in the breakdown.

Man. I am so freakin tired, but as usual, I just can't get to sleep. It's seriously seven am. And I haven't slept yet. And I'm getting up at nine to go out! I've been doing this a lot lately. I need to stop, but I just can't seem to. Long, emotional night. Don't ya just hate those? Tomorrow (or today rather) should be a lot better. I shall be in a better mood by this afternoon, I just know it. Sigh. Well I guess I will try and catch an hour or so before I get up for the day. It's just those rainy days. Spend a life time trying to wash away.

Im so happy that its been relatively warm the last couple of days. Even if it was kind of rainy and all that today, it was still warm. : )! I was outside playing Frisbee yesterday! Its starting to feel like Spring and Winter hasnt even started yet! Oh well. Oh I also went bowling yesterday. Ha ha. Im pretty much the worst bowler and I didnt even know it. I bowled like a 70 or something as my highest. Lmao. Cant be good at everything I guess. : P! Tonight Im just goina relax, and I even slept in for the first time in a week or so. Im glad. I think Ill go clean my room up a little bit. : ). This isnt how it used to be. But Im not even good at being me anymore.

Man. I am so freaking tired. As usual. I've been having so much trouble sleeping at night. Any suggestions anyone? I got up at 8 and didn't even go to sleep til about 5! But I took a nap when I got home for about 3 hours, so that made up for some of it. : ). I got to babysit my little cousin Sophia last night with Case and my grandma. It was actually a lot of fun. She is only four, but she is a riot. We played Whac-A-Mole pretty much all night. Lol. I definitely needed that to help my mood out. I'm cool now though. But I think I'm going to go and update Myspace, and maybe look into making a new layout for this. [Edit] What is it with guys sometimes liking you and then sometimes not? Oh yeah sure. Don't call for three weeks, then call me right out the blue and act like everything's cool. People are crazy. : P.

Eh. Im self destructing. Really. Lol. I stayed up all night. Literally. I went to sleep around 8 this morning. Then slept until 3. That cannot be good. And Josh is making me crazy. I pretty much hate my life. He seems to think that since Im the one who did all these horrible things to him, he can treat me like shit. And that really isnt fair. Thats no kind of friendship. If he has to be an asshole and get back at me all the time, then he really hasnt forgiven me. And I cant even handle that right now. Im going to have to have a talk with him. He just dumps on me all the time. He just thinks he deserves it, he thinks that I owe it to him. Sigh.

Yay. I feel festive now that I've put on a holiday layout! Its cute. I like it. I'll probably change it at some point, coz thats just how I am. : ). I cant wait for Thanksgiving and Christmas. This is my favorite time of year. I just love being with my family and staying home, cuddled up on the couch. Cant wait till it snows! (Even though I hate the cold).

I can't stand what I'm starting to be I can't stand the people that I'm starting to need There's so much now That can go wrong And I don't need somebody Trying to help it along It's the same old song Everybody says you've been away too long Sigh. Thanksgiving was nice. Food was great. Family was great. Im very thankful. : )! Now its back to the same old shit. I certainly hope that things start to look up around here.

Damn. I'm already so unbelievably sick of it being cold. Hate that. : (. Oh well. Helped my mom do the last of her Christmas shopping today. She got Boo a Spongebob Gameboy SP. It's pretty cool. I know he will ¢¾ it! I ¢¾ Christmas, so I really just can't wait for it to get closer! : )! I'm excited, coz I'm getting new carpet for my room! Nice and soft carpet too I think. I really need to get a job, so I can get some curtains and start to redo it. That would be nice. I'm rambling and none of this has any point. [Edit] Hm. New diary? Maybe? I'm really not too sure yet. Lol. I changed my Myspace name, so that might satisfy me for now. : ).

I think I'll start writing in here again. I really want to. In fact, I'm going to design a whole new layout. Right now. Hmm...only problem being that I totally forget how to even use this! Ha ha.

Geez. My life has been so unbelievably busy and hectic lately. I dont even know what Im doing anymore. Lol. Kfc is sucking as usual. I really need to get my drivers license, as usual. And thats about it. But Saturday Im goina go to the fair and Sunday me and Dennis are going to Waldameer with Amanda n Ty. That should be fun. I havent really done anything like that in awhile. Things are going good with Dennis. The same as any new relationship I suppose. Just getting used to each other. My tattoo is finally healed! And I think that it looks pretty cute. But right now I need to go coz I have no idea how Im going to get to work.

I hate my life.

Its just one of those days when you dont wana wake up. Everything is fucked, everybody sucks. You dont really know why but you wana justify rippin someone's head off. Your best bet is to stay away mother fucker, its just one of those days... ...or maybe for me its just like one of those years. Lol. I had to re-dye my hair black, actually its a black/blue. But it looks pretty much the same. And if my day keeps goin this way, I just might break somethin tonight.

Eh. I hate working. Dennis saw a shooting star on his way home today. Ive never seen one. I work all day tomorrow. Im getting my tatoo on Saturday. A four leaf clover. And it brings my knees to the earth.

sigh. Im tired as hell. Even though I slept till 2:30. I do not know what is going on with me these days. I feel bored. But I cant do anything till Dennis gets off at four. Then I think we're goin to hang out with Amanda and Ty. Fun fun. Im tired. I feel like shit. I hate my life. Trying to keep it together, but Im falling apart.

Mutilation out of sight, and Im contemplating suicide.

Now I can't breathe. No, I can't sleep. I'm barely hanging on. Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny, can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside. But you won't get to see these tears I cry. Behind these hazel eyes.

Breathe in right away, nothing seems To fill this place I need this every time, take your Lies get off my case Some day I will find, a love that flows Through me like this This will fall away, this will fall away Im tired. Im grumpy. Im starved. My body's growing cold. Theres nothing left of this mind or my soul. [update] God am I fucked up.

I am so tired. I was up till about five, then I had to work from four to eleven. How lucky of me. Now Im just sittin at home, gettin ready to go chill with Ky for the night. That will definitely be nice. It's been way too long since we've had a chance to get together. Im still not done with Harry Potter. Lol. Im taking my time. Josh is done though, so I have to keep him from talking about it, or else he'll try to give me clues. Or are you gone and onto someone new?

God I'm in such a good mood right now. : ) Oh yeah and we got a little water frog for Daniel's fish tank. I'm pretty much in love with it. Life is just so great today. I needed somewhere to hang my head, without your noose.