A confession.

Feeling: bleh
I got Five on it Creep on in, on in (echos) Woo. See I'm ridin high, ridin high (echos) Whoooo! Kinda broke you see me, so all I got is FIVE I GOT FIVE! Verse 1 *(Knumskull & Yukmouth)* (Knumskull) I Got Five On It I got five what you got nigga? (Yukmouth) Damn I think I got two bucks in my sock nigga. (Knumskull) Well that's that fuck it I think I got three bucks in my backpack enough to get a phat sack. (Yukmouth) Hell yeah! (Knumskull) You got some zags? (Yukmouth) Not at all man. (Knumskull) Let's get some from the store. (Yukmouth) Fa sho, because a nigga need a Tall Ken. (Knumskull) Damn open the door blood. (Yukmouth) Nigga where my keys at? (Knumskull) I don't know? (Yukmouth) Remember I gave 'em to you to go get that weed sack. (Knumskull) Oh here they go in my sock. (Yukmouth) Put your seatbelt on cuz there's hella cops parked up the block. (Knumskull) Well nigga bust a U-ey then. (Yukmouth) Nigga fire up that doobie then. (Knumskull) Hell nah! (Yukmouth) You major skanless potna. (Knumskull) Well sue me then. (Yukmouth) Oh, be like that on a roach? (Knumskull) Nope, look at them hoes! (Yukmouth) Man fuck them tricks, nigga let's get smoke! Pass the doobie to the left biddy-bum-bum-boo! Whoa! What the fuck wrong wit you?! (Knumskull) Damn I had a flash back this nigga frontin me some yay but you know that he ain't gonna get his cash back. (Yukmouth) Nigga what if the cash jack? (Knumskull) Oh it's cool Fuck this, I'm puttin it in the cuts. (Yukmouth) It's bad enough he got not tags on the Cutlass (Knumskull) Eh you know what? 84th is the closest. (Yukmouth) Yup Oooh! a fat ass Hamp, nigga let's smoke this. (Knumskull) Let's roll a blunt wit the skunk. (Yukmouth) Why you bring that skanless ass sack? (Knumskull) Man this shit ain't no punk. Here smell this. (Yukmouth) Roll it up then nigga! (Knumskull) Haha, yeah! (Yukmouth) Let's go half on some liquor yeah go get some Tango or something. (Eh, I got to see some I.D.) (Knumskull) Aww man, shit I ain't got nothing! (Sorry) (Knumskull) Man I spend wit you all the time. (Sorry no I.D., no colors Icy Bine) (Knumskull) Aww fuck that! (Yukmouth) They didn't let you get the drank? (Get out my store!) (Knumskull) Man I ain't trippin. This font colour has nothing to do with my state of mind whilst writing this entry. What the fuck am I talking about? Of course it does! I'm down, i'm as down as I can be. In fact i've not been on a downer this bad .. EVER!! I'm bordering on depression, in fact i am probably very depressed at the moment. I chose "bleh" because it reminded me of adam, and he makes me laugh. Like the only thing to be happy about. This is a entry I never would have thought i'd put as pubilc, but fuck it. I'm an asshole. I'm a downright prick. I make myself out to be a nice guy when i'm not. Not just with girls, I'm talking everything. See i'm a smart lad, or so i'm told? However, I've just spent the last 3 years of my life fucking up my LIFE. I'm a waster. I've got to face the truth, there is nothing in life for me now. I obviously didn't want to go to uni that much. But I do!!!! See I've done nothing over the last few days, but think, and regret not getting on with things, not knuckling down and getting my grades at college. I didn't get a bollocking off my mum and dad, but it's more powerful when parents just stare at you with blanc faces after seeing you've just failed 2 years at college. They hardly said a thing, but they didn't need to. It doesn't help when all the people I've met over the last 3 years, are all saying wooo!! I've passed!! i did so well.. Just sends me even more down to the gutter. I'm proud of all my mates. However, it only further illustrates how fucked up i am. I know it now, I'm a loser. It's my attitude towards everything, I can find reasons excuses as to why I didn't do things. But if I were a half decent person i'd have done things in the first place. I thought it would be easy to put into words, but i'm finding it difficult to comprehent any way of saying how I feel at this present time. Since Jo, i've gone worse, i'm not blaming it on her at all, i'm just saying. Back then I wouldn't have even thought about cheating on her, or anyone for that fact. but now, well now is a different story. See while i'm here admitting i'm a nob, i may as well say that I've been leading people on, I'm in it for the sex, it's obvious, see that didn't bother me that much with Jo, in fact i reckon it was the sex that spoilt it. But Kacy? how many times have I told her i Love her? and led her on thinking i wanna get back with her, it's fucking stupid. and i'm a fucking idiot. because Kacy is an awsome girl, and i've just been playing with her. Kacy i'm sorry :( My car, well where do i start? I haven't cleaned it since i went to the french car show, i've washed the outside once or twice, but that it.. And i treat cars like shit, much like i treat everything else in my life. I'm not set out for it. I love driving, but it's obvious I think cars look after themselves, i mean a perfectly mint R reg clio, 10k down the road as had a new engine, new drifhshaft and hub, in turn has fucked up the tyres. Things are rattling, but i don't do anything about it. I'M A FUCKING DICKHEAD! I've disappointed my dad, my mum, my whole family. I've lost all my friends from admitting to shit in the entry, so I can't have disappointed any of them. Most of all i've disappointed myself, to the point i feel physically sick thinking about how fucked up i've made my life. I'm a complete and utter waste of everyone's time and patience. So now i'm going to go and find another excuse not to do somthing, and continue living my life in the shitball it's rolling itself into. Because thats all i meant to myself right now, a big ball of shit rolling down a shitty hill. Well to everyone that i thought i cared about, it's been nice knowing you. You're all probably not going to speak to me again after this entry. Oh before i forget, i'll give u another example of my womanising. There's this lass called gemma, who i'm currently with.. I went out with her not so long since, and things were good, then I met a lass on hotornot, you've heard that story.. Esstta, see i dump gemma, get on with esstta, she comes over to meet me, we have sex, and she goes home.. i barely text her and then she says it might be better being friends, i agree, and a couple of days later, having strung her on, i'm back with gemma. Good isn't it? NO IT'S FUCKING NOT... I'M A PRICK, FULLBLOWN 100% NOB. and to all those that maybe to care about me. You'll not see me for a bit, i'm going to stay inside all the time, and just go to work and back. I'm going to cut off any link to me with anyone that still likes me, cos i'll only take them down with me. so fuck it. >=[
Read 10 comments
I wud've had a lot more respect if you had told me what you were up2, but hey *shrugs* who am I to talk?I mean, I'm sleeping with my m8's bloke Es x
[Anonymous]
i don't deserve respect
Well, you have mine whether you like it or not. You aren't a bad person. You're just human. You fuck up like the rest of us :) no harm done x Es x
[Anonymous]
i've destroyed my life.
you haven't destroyed your life x you've just fucked up a bit, everything is changable, don't worry, you'll be ok x you CAN make something of yourself
[Anonymous]
No matter how you treat people, you've never been bad to me.
So i'll allways think your a star!

Jo x

OOooo and those results are bogus... my mum didn't read the paper thing right, I got 2 B's, 5 C's, 2 D's and 2 E's!! Woo, going out tonight to celebrate!
trust me u could do worse. maybe your parents are disappointed in you for not getting the grades u wanted but that the end of the day they still love u and wuld die just to protect u. as for girls, well every guy does that, u promise them the world to get a good bit o nookie. sht happens...

look @ me, ok i passed college, i been sat in the house doin fuck all for the past few months, when i coulda been out earnin some much needed dollar,
and until i went to ireland, my life was pretty sht aswell, playin girls an sht, i could tell u a few stories :P

but i went to ireland and suddenly have a new goal in life, i did some pretty messed up shit in ireland which i aint proud of aswell but fuck it, thats life. i dunno if in a few months ill be doin what i want me to be doin (well i wanna have a job and loads of cash and be learning to drive in 3 months but we have to see how that goes)
but this reflection time will be good, although ur down and shit ull come out the other side a "better" person, coz ull find out what u wanna do, and then set goals and shit to get there, college and grades etc aint worth shit if u dunno what u wanna do with them, so best thing is to sit back, think about what u wanna do (with your head not ur nobber) and then start making the changes to get them goals achieved... tis what im doin

OH + COME OUT!
Dude, I hope it gets better for you is all I can say. It pisses me off too when people do well on something and just unintentionally shove it in your face. You end up feeling like shit.