so last week was crazy and scary and it isn't over yet but at least my dad came home.
well there was no school on Monday or Tuesday, which was very good.
But on Wednesday I was changing in the locker room, after dance and saw I had a new voicemail. It was from my mom and she had said, "Call me when you get this, it's important." My heart started beating faster, and I knew it had to do with someone in Oklahoma, either that or I was in trouble of some sort.
So I called right away and the bell rang right after she told me and tears silently streamed down my face because my grandma was in the hospital and my dad had left for Oklahoma. It didn't even excite me to see Max Stowell and Keshara because I was still in shock of what was going on. TWO heart-attacks. Not just one. Two. And my dad was gone and I knew that meant my mom and I would be ripping at each other's throats soon enough.
I only confided in Marissa. She walked me home as I cried and when she reached the car I immediately pulled out my phone and called Evan. He said he would come over and he did about half an hour later. I called my brother right after, I felt bad because I knew if I didn't call, he wouldn't hear from my dad. And it's his grandma too. He deserves to know.
So Evan came over for practically the rest of the night, until like 11:30 or something. He comforted me and we mostly just watched a lot of TV and Grease! But it was nice that he understood that I was upset and wasn't up to doing anything exciting and that I just wanted him to be there for me.
We went to dinner with my mom. She's crazy.
Then we came home and watched more TV.
On Thursday I wasn't myself at school but that was okay.
I had to go to Tara's soccer game after school and Skylar, Marissa and Scott went with me and Evan stopped by Buena to say hi before he had to go to work. : )
It was me and my mom then. A scary thought. We couldn't decide what to eat for the longest time.
On Friday I went to the mall to dress-shop for backwards. I found a super slutty dress I liked but decided not to wear. And when we first got there, Evan was there so I got to see him!
After the dress-shopping was over it was me and my mom because I felt like I couldn't abandon her on a Friday night. So we sat in front of the house arguing about what we would get to eat and she got pissed and I regretted my idea of staying home for her sake. We went to Vons and got frozen dinners and then I think we watched a movie.
I'm pretty sure Evan came over after work too....
On Saturday uhhh...Evan came over and we just hung out and then we saw Hostel. Then we watched a movie at my house. We watch a lot of movies.
And he did the cutest thing everrr. (Even cuter than leaving a rose on my doorstep at 12:30 am!) He gave me this little glass heart and told me not to break it and then he was like "So do you promise not to break my heart?" and omg it made me smile like mad. He keeps doing stuff and saying things and I think about them over and over and I smile every single time anddddddd yesterday was 4 weeks!
Yeah so I really really really like him.
I've actually cried because he's made me so happy. (But justine, don't tell him that, haha.)
Mhmmmmmm. And my daddy came home on Sunday and I had Santa Barbara Youth Symphony and then Evan came over and yesterday I had Symphonic Orchestra and tonight I have to talk to some people at Buena for the incoming freshmen and tomorrow I have an audition and I'm so fucking scared you don't even know. Well not really. I really shouldn't even say I'm scared because that's negative and works up my nerves. That's what I need to work on. I've been working on it for years now. And it still doesn't fucking work.
But it's all good. I don't really want to make County Honor Band anyway, but I don't want to see another rejection letter either.
That's one of the reasons my mom and I almost killed each other actually. She opened my All-State (rejection) letter before I even got home that Friday.
Why does she have to open my mail?
Anyway, then she kept saying "You didn't really want it anyway. You never practiced. Don't you dare say you wanted to make it because you didn't put in any effort." And it was constant. "Oh Leilani made it. Too bad you didn't. But you didn't want it, I bet she practiced." It was horrible.
I told her to shut up.
And my dad got mad.
And then they both called me a bitch later on Sunday. My dad's never called me a bitch.
And she just came in and said more.
I can't take it.
&& I hate when Marissa makes such a HUGE deal about fighting with her parents. It's like it only happens to her. Well it doesn't, it's just I don't try and get sympathy from it when it happens so I shut up.
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