(sorry for the delay... and sorry its not very good...) Chapter 31 – Doubted Love The next four days kind of ran together. Everything was just so routine that there wasn’t really anything that stood out about them. Except that it hurt. That night, when Nathan and I were lying in bed, we started talking, the way most people do before they fall asleep. ‘Pillow Talk’ as it’s sometimes referred to as. I’ve heard that a person is most willing to open up and talk about subjects that they might normally avoid at night, right before they fall asleep. That’s when they are the most honest. And yet, at the same time, it’s when they feel the most vulnerable. I’m not sure whether all that’s true or not, but either way… Nathan and I talk every night. “I love you, Lily.” He said quietly. He says it to me a lot. I love that about him. “I love you too, Nathan.” “You know, tomorrow’s Monday.” I groaned. “Don’t remind me.” “Were you planning on going to school?” “I don’t know… Maybe…” “Lily, you missed last Thursday and Friday.” “I know Nathan, I just…” my voice trailed off. I wasn’t really sure how to tell him what I was. “Lily… Look, I know you and Jesse had a past… and I know you loved him.” I looked away. He turned my head back to him. “But you know… I’m still here.” “I know you are.” I muttered. “Do you?” I gave him a slightly puzzled look. “Of course I do.” “Then why don’t you act like it? You’re so heartbroken about losing Jesse that you don’t even acknowledge that I’m here. I mean, I understand that you once loved him and that you and he were very close at one point, but come on Lily, the guy was an asshole.” “No he wasn’t.” “Lily, he gave you a fuckin black eye. That makes him an asshole in my book.” “Nathan… can we just not talk about this? You know I love you.” “Yeah, I know you do… I just wish you would stop crying over Jesse and let me be here for you. I mean, come on Lily, tomorrow’s Valentines Day, I mean, the holiday fuckin celebrates love, I want you to be with me!” “Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day?” I asked, surprised. “Unless they changed it, yeah. I was hoping you would go somewhere with me, but if you’re just gonna lay around all day crying over Jesse like you have been, then fuck it, I’ll go to school.” He climbed out of the bed and walked out of the room angrily. I lay there for a few more minutes, then got up with a sigh and made my way into the living room. Nathan was sitting in his chair with the TV on, but I could tell he wasn’t really watching it. I turned it off and went over and sat on Nathan’s lap. “What?” He asked coolly. I kissed him deeply. “I love you.” He pushed me back slightly. “No, uh-uh. Not gonna work this time Lily. I’m sick of you always getting away with everything because you love me, and you expect that to be enough.” I looked at him in a puzzled way. “What do you mean?” “I mean, every time you do something that hurts me, you just come in and say you love me and expect everything to be ok! And I’ve been letting you get away with that, but not this time.” “Nathan…what are you saying?” “I’m saying that this time, it’s gonna take more then you just telling me you love me. This time, I want you to prove it.” “But…How?” “Figure it out.” He stood up, nearly dumping me onto the floor. “I’m going out for a little while.” He said. He walked outside, and I heard him start his car up and drive away. I stood there for a minute, stunned. Then, everything that had happened hit me. Shit. I have to go after him, I thought. I’d never really seen Nathan like that. Who knew what he’d do… I changed, grabbed my keys, and followed him.