Chapter 29 – The End Begins ::Tap tap tap:: “Wha…?” ::Tap tap tap:: “Psst! Lily!” “Ugh, what now?” I muttered to myself. “Lily!” Someone whispered from outside my window. I carefully untangled myself from Nathan, who was sleeping soundly, and set Orion, who had been sleeping on my stomach, down onto the bed, and walked over to the window. There was someone standing outside it, but it was too dark to see who it was. I opened the window carefully. “Lily! Finally! I’ve been out here for 20 minutes!” “What the hell are you doing here?” “I wanna talk to you.” “Why?” “Are you engaged to him?” Jesse asked bluntly, pointing to Nathan. I looked at him incredulously. This was what he woke me to talk about? “Why do you care?” “Because if you are, then there’s something you should know first.” “Like?” “Come out here and I’ll tell you.” “Fuck you.” “Aww, come on Lily.” “Why? So you can get revenge on me for having my boyfriend kick your ass?” He sighed exasperatedly. “I don’t care about that anymore. I just wanna talk to you, that’s all, I swear.” I sighed heavily. “Fine, I’ll be out in a minute.” I stepped away from the window and quietly put some clothes on over my nightclothes. Then, I picked up the phone and quickly dialed it. “Lily?” a voice asked tiredly. “Yeah, it’s me. Sorry I woke you up, but can you do me a favor?” “Okay…?” Kaira said, sounding slightly confused. “If I don’t call you back in twenty minutes, I need you to call my house. Don’t stop calling until you get a hold of Nathan.” “What? Why? What’s going on?” “…Jesse’s here.” “What?” “He’s here. He says he wants to talk to me.” “So you’re going to?” “Yeah…” “What the hell Lily?” “Kaira… I have to go.” “Why?” “…Because I loved him once, and I need some sort of closure to that.” “Lily, you do realize how fuckin stupid you sound right now, right?” “Yeah, I know… But I have to go. Will you call Nathan, or not?” “Sure, I’ll call him. I’ll call him right now and tell him to get up and save his girlfriend’s ass again, cuz she’s being stupid.” “Kaira!” I said, getting slightly annoyed. “Come on.” “Fine, if I don’t hear from you in 20 minutes, I’ll call him. But for the record, I think you’re making a big mistake.” “Thanks for the support, Kaira.” “Hey, it’s 3:30 in the morning, what do you expect?” “…I’ll call you in 20 minutes.” “You better.” I hung up the phone. I grabbed my watch. It was 3:37a.m. I slipped it on and headed towards the door. I opened it and shivered slightly; it was colder then I had expected it to be. The snow from earlier that day still covered the ground in a thin layer. I stepped off the porch and looked around, but Jesse was no where in sight. “Jesse?” No answer. “Jesse?” Silence. “Jesse!” I hissed. Someone grabbed me from behind, and I shrieked loudly. “Shh…” Jesse said softly. “You’ll wake Nathan up.” “You scared the hell out of me.” He grinned slightly. “Sorry.” He took my hand and led me towards the woods, where there were a bunch of trails to walk on. Jesse and I had walked down those trails many times. We started down one of them in silence. Jesse was still holding onto my hand tightly. “What are we doing out here Jesse?” “I have to give you your birthday present.” “But why-” “Shh!” The trail had brought us out of the woods and into a small clearing. The light of the full moon that was shining brightly overhead illuminated the area. Jesse led me into the center of it, and turned around and held a small black box out to me. Inside it was a tiny gold bracelet with small silver hearts going all the way around it. He looked at me expectantly. “Well?” “Jesse, it’s beautiful, but what-” Before I could finish, he kissed me deeply. “Don’t say anything yet… Just listen to me.” He took a deep breath. “Lily, I…” He paused, and I waited patiently as he searched for the right words. “Lily… I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.” I waited silently. “And I know you love me too… So why don’t you just stop all this bullshit with that guy Nathan? You and I are meant to be together, and you know it.” I didn’t say anything; I merely stared at him. “And just think, once you get rid of him, we finally can be together! You’ve wanted that since the day you met me, I know you have!” “What about Mona?” I asked quietly. “Screw Mona! I never wanted her! I just... I didn't think i could ever have you...” “But Jesse, I-” “No, Lily, please… No buts. I love you, I swear I do. I know I’ve been a jackass, but I can change… I will change. I’ll do it for you.” “Jesse…” I looked at him sorrowfully. He sighed. “What?” “…If you had told me this a few months ago, you would have made me the happiest person in the world.” “But…” “But now… Now is too late. I don’t love you anymore. I can’t love you. I’m in love with Nathan.” “But… How do you know he’s the one for you? How do you know I’m not the one you’re meant to be with?” I shrugged. “I don’t know… I honestly don’t know. All I know is I love Nathan, and he loves me too. That’s the best place to start, right?” “But… I love you too!” “Yes, but I don’t love you.” The words sounded much harsher then I had meant for them to. Jesse looked at me coldly. “Well… If that’s how you feel, I don’t suppose there’s any way I can get you to change your mind.” He stepped backwards slightly. I reached out and hugged him. “I’m sorry, Jesse.” He pulled away. “It’s fine… I mean, I guess I deserve that after what I did to you.” “Don’t say that Jesse… You’re a good guy, I know you are. You’re just… You’re too late. I’ve moved on.” He looked away from me. “I know. It was stupid of me to even say anything. I’m sorry.” I turned his face gently until he was looking into my eyes. “No, it wasn’t, and don’t apologize. You can’t help how you feel anymore then I can.” “Lily… Can you please just leave now?” I looked deep into his eyes. “Is that really what you want?” “Yes… Leave.” “Ok then.” I said softly. I held the bracelet he’d given me out to him. “No… Keep it. I want you to have it…” “Jesse… I can’t…” “Take it.” He growled. “Ok.” I said. I kissed him softly. “Goodbye, Jesse.” “Goodbye, Lily.” I walked away with tears in my eyes. Turning away from Jesse was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. When I looked back, I saw that Jesse was crying too. I walked slowly back, with tears streaming down my face and blurring my vision. When I reached the house, I opened the door quietly and stepped inside. After calling Kaira, I walked into my room and lay down quietly next to Nathan. “Lily?” He called softly to me. When I didn’t reply, he reached out and touched my face. When he realized that I was crying, he wiped my tears away gently. “Hey… What is it?” I didn’t say anything. I just threw my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He put his arms around me. “It’s ok Lily… I’m right here. I promise, I’ll always be right here if you need me.” He held me close as I cried myself to sleep. I was still wearing Jesse’s bracelet.