Feeling: disappointed lately i haven't been doing well. and i wish i was. i helped out at a wedding reception this evening. it was lovely. the black, white, and pink decorations. the delicious platters of various types of food. the cool weather in the backyard with the lush green lawn and flowering trees. the two musicians, one playing the saxophone, the other the guitar. they played "I Can't Stop Loving You" by Ray Charles. i danced to it on that lush green lawn with the cool wind blowing through my hair. i danced by myself. i came home expecting a nice phone conversation. i did get a phone conversation. it just wasn't what i was hoping for. yeah, i knew he was going to a party. a bachelor party no less. but i didn't think he was going to try to talk about important things while he was intoxicated. at least i know he'd be a fun drunk. he wants to move close to me. i'm not sure how i feel about that. i haven't even met him yet. i think i would like it. but how would i tell him if i didn't want him to? he is a great guy. and i love him. or am i just lonely?