Its nice to see who your true friends are when something goes wrong and thank you to the ones that haven’t treated me like crap. Its going to be a month in 2 days and it still feels like it was yesterday. I miss you I'm barley getting through this. I was cutting myself but then I think of how maybe I'll get you back so I stop, but in a weird way cutting makes me feel better or not feel better but just makes everything else go away it feels like its the only thing I can do to get my pain out because I cant talk to him and I want to so bad, but its all about you so I cant and why would you want to know how I feel. I need that friend that I can talk to about everything you were that person and know your gone. Its funny you always said how I never told you anything but I told you the most you knew what was inside me how I felt. My friends say I’m not the same anymore that I need you back, I’m not fun anymore I'm just not me. Its funny how a month ago people thought I would be with some one else and well I'm not your still the only one in my mind and your always going to be in my heart. I wonder if you ever think about me because I think of you every second. I cant do my work I cant talk to people with out you coming in my head your always there. I wish this never happened, we were so close to, so happy and know look at us we barely talk you barely look at me, when in the corner of my eyes I just stair. People say I should take down the pictures but I just cant I cant let go, I don’t want to let go. I want your arms around me just holding telling me you still love me and you still think about me, but you want nothing to do with me. Some nights I think I should just end it, end all the pain in my heart, I really think everyone would be better off no one really wants me around they just put up with me because they feel sorry for me. I really need help and need it soon because I’m scared of what I want to do. I want my best friend back, the love of my life, my Corey. I'll love you forever even if you hate me.