Well so much has happened since I was last on thins thing. Corey hates me still that ok I had my chance to talk to him and I feel so much better I will always love him but I fucked up and things are over and that fact no longer bothers me. My cousin got married I’m so happy for him he’s so happy, and my other cousin has moved back to Manitoba :D On my fathers side of the family everything is going great and it makes me happy that I’m finally getting to know then it only took 17 years for this to happen. On my household side of the family I don’t even know anymore because I don’t feel like I’m really apart of, I just leave hear and that’s it. Al’s dad has cancer again I hate all this death around me, it’s stupid and it makes me angry. Me and Nikki are getting so close again:D I missed spending time with her she was one of my best friends I have some of the best memories with her and now were just going to make more. She stayed over all weekend this weekend it was so much fun. She got David off my back and if he still wants me he’ll get his ass kicked:D that would be way to much fun. On Friday David came over we went and got Nikki got some boss and came back hear. Nikki was on my MSN pretending to me hitting on Alex it was funny because he knew it wasn’t me, I phone him to telling it was her and we ended up talking on the phone till about 12 and then he came over. I feel so stupid a lot got fucked up with David and Nikki and I did some things that I probably shouldn’t have but I did because I wanted to but he didn’t believe and now I’m scared I fucked up our friends ship again. I’m way to good at fucking up my friends ships I should get and A+ in that, fuck that makes me so said. Yesterday I was babysitting with Nikki and it was so bad cause we were so hung over. We went to Leanne’s to drop of a tape but she was a work so I stayed and talked to her mom it was nice I miss that family so much and I miss them again. After that we went to Husky so Leanne could she the kids it was nice I’m happy they got to she her because we were all so close. After that we went to the park called Alex but he was to lazy and didn’t want to hang out with us what a bum. To end our day we took the kids on a bus ride to go home the first time on a bus for them :D Alexis loved it. Later David and Chris came over but before they got there Nikki phoned Corey and bitched at him and I heard things that really hurt and I totally broke down it was so bad. I phoned him and we talked about everything and at first I was crying and at the end of the convo I felt so much better I was happy, not sad it made me happy to get everything out. I feel really bad because he still doesn’t know everything and it’s really not fair to him but the world doesn’t work like that. There this guy I like at the moment but he doesn’t feel the same and I feel so stupid cause I sorta let everything out and just let myself go probably because I was drinking but if I hadn’t I would have just kept everything in, it probably would have been better that way but it’s hard to like someone and hid it. I just can’t forget about him he keeps running through my head, his lips, the way he kisses, he’s so good looking, so nice he always cares and he’s always there for me and it makes him look about a million time better in my mind even though I don’t think he could look any better. I’ll never have him and I feel so stupid for everything I did, I should just keep my feelings inside its better that way. Crystal