sit down. I didn't dare say it out loud, but I invited him to put it all on the table. I needed no secrets and I kept nothing to myself. I mentioned he might want to tell the truth because his lies only worked on me. I tried the best I could to contain myself, but composure never felt like this before. I tried to find something familiar in his face, but his eyes acted as if they'd never met me before. Little did everyone know, but that was the hardest part. Here I am, doing exactly what I warned myself about with the same boy my mom warned me about. He's bad news, she said. It's only a matter of time, she said. I'm in love, I say. And he's in love with me. I didn't realize, he said. I didn't realize how easy this would be. How could he find humor in a time like this? Nothing was funny about how my life was unfolding. But leave it to him, I remember him saying. So I left it to him. And he just left me. I wish I knew so much more. I wish I had come more prepared. But there's no list for a thing like this. I thought I'd known all along. But this, this is what a disaster looks like. Oh, what a mess, she says. Oh, how I loved him so, I say. Oh, what a waste, he says.