i drove to your house to pick you up in hopes we could sit and talk for a while. there were plenty of things i wanted to say even though i told you i didn't feel much like talking. truth is, i didn't feel like talking - i felt like yelling. i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs because i wanted the whole neighborhood to hear about you and me. i unlocked the door and let you inside. we drove away and i had no destination in mind because i really didnt want to be there right then. things seemed to be so much easier in my head. i had so much more courage when the silence wasn't begging me to speak. and the more and more i thought about you, the less and less i had to say. and then that famous line from that famous song i love oh so much played on the radio. i drove to the church because i wanted this to go just like the movies promised it would. it seemed more creative than any other place i could think of. i parked the car and shut off the lights. i took the keys out of the ignition and stared straight ahead. how could i say all these things to you? i wasnt so sure just then that i would be able to go through with this. you tried changing the subject as much as possible, but you didn't have to let me know that you were just as uncomfortable as i was. "yeah", i thought, "this time its going to be hard to say goodbye." but once i started talking, i just couldn't stop. and suprisingly enough i stayed on subject. you were really good about listening, and i was glad, because i was really good at spilling my guts. i mentioned everything that was going on in my brain and i layed my heart on the line. all for you. and somewhere out there, someone was resenting me for never opening up. it took me a while to realize that you had been crying the entire way through. you always were the sensitive type. i couldn't bring myself to comfort you. i couldn't look at your tear stained eyes because i might crumble and lose my nerve. i couldn't hug you or touch you because i couldn't seem to make my arms move towards you without slapping you across the face. i gave you your opportunity to speak, and the silence was punctuated with your heart wrenching sobs. it was hard for me to grasp that i was the cause of your tears. but it was hard for you to grasp that you were the cause for the end of the relationship. these were your realities and these were the consequences you were facing, and i had no desire to hold your hand as your learned these important life lessons. you leaned over in your seat and you threw your arms around me. so many people had done this before, because everyone is fascinated with my ability to tell you i love you and that i'm doing this for your own good, and then drive away with an empty heart without even so much as a smile. i say that i love you, because i do. and i explain for the last time that this will be the end of us, but you continue sobbing with your heavy arm draped across my chest. and instead of turning my head and reassuring you that it'll all be okay, i turn my head away from you and i stare at the stars and begin to think of that famous line from that famous song that i love oh so much. you said you had to step outside for just a moment and at that point i wasnt sure if you were planning your escape. but i knew you'd be back because i knew you still had hope for us. but just as i was realizing this was going to be the end of us, you were realizing you couldnt stand to sit next to me anymore. so you got up and stepped out of the car. you took your jacket off, even though it was a cool summer night. i watched as you sucked in a deep breath, and then i shivered as i watched your shoulders fall with your exhale of hope. i asked myself how i could be so heartless. and then i told myself, "its easy to be heartless when you've just had your heart ripped out." you came back to the car and by this time i was ready to leave. i had said what i wanted to say and i had gotten the desired effect. and now its time to leave - to recount the memories of our long and tragic goodbye. so i dropped you off around the corner. as our final farewell lingered, i searched so hard to see if i thought this was all a mistake, but i felt nothing as i let you step out of my car and out of my life. and i sat there for a minute with the radio on, and that famous line from that famous song that i love oh so much poured from my speakers. and i thought, how ironic. so i turned up the volume on the radio, and i turned down the volume on my heart, and i said to myself, "there he goes," i said, "there goes the last man to ever break my heart." "...the style is perfect for the material, and the emotions perfect for their moments."