This is by far the worst day of my entire life. People nowadays have now grown to be plastic to others. Orocan, Tupperware...you name it. Face them they'll be as bubblegummy sweet as they can be. Turn your back and their tongues would be sharp enough to cut glass. That's exactly what happened to me. This morning after our first half of NatSci class, me, Russiane, John and Aaron were the only ones left inside the classroom. Out of the blue moon Aaron suddenly started asking me if there was an open forum, would I join if I was needed. Confused, I just replied it's okay if I'm really needed. Then he told me last Saturday (I was absent that day) after their practice on cheering for our PE practicum that the rest of the tropa was telling me how much they're pissed off at me because of my attitude. All he said to me was they hate the way I was acting all the time. What the hell did they want from me?! Luckily Aaron was there to play my tagapagtanggol and to tell his side, that he was equally pissed off because they don't even know me and they're judging me like that because he knows me better. And if they all want to solve this, they will have to talk to me, and therefore, have an open forum. Probably today, I don't know. After he told me the whole story, I couldn't help bursting into tears in front of them while they hugged me and tapped my back. I felt sick that I know I treated them well and they're judging me like that. I know I did a few wrongs, and I know I say whatever I want without any slightest consideration, but who are they to judge me? It's okay for me that they're mad at me, I understand that. I just hate the way they're talking about me behind my back and I'm just gonna find it out today when everything just happened a long time ago. As for me, I'm not doing anything wrong. They don't want plastic people when I'm already being myself, for sobbing out loud. God, the blast of the high school past. Aaron and Russiane kept telling me not to think about it anymore, kept telling me that those people are just not used to my ways and just take the fun out of bashing people behind their backs. Oh well, like I care. (Aaron says that I shouldn't.) So yeah, I don't. If they don't want me, those people might as well just screw themselves. I sound so much like a bitch. But hey, its their fault. They fucking just don't know me at all. All I have to do is just apologize to them. But if they want me to change for their own enjoyment, to hell with them. I won't change for anyone. That is my decision to be. Ugh. This hurts terribly. I hate it. And now I don't even know what to do, if I would just open my mouth and curse them or kick their asses all throughout Friday or just shut up and listen to them. I don't know, I don't know... Haaay... I need professional help.