bonk bonk...holy havent done this deal...since the last time...i like to sorta keep it updated here...hmm...newest shit...eastdale...moving back to picton...stef and i worked shit out...were getting a place together...my mom calls it nesting...and thinks its cute...is it? i unno anywayyssss...boreddd of this...i guess my grandpa left...damn...didnt grab money...ohh welll...i should get my mom to sign me outta third...dont wanna math...ill do english though...thats ok for me...wee englishhh...alrighttt byeee .x. deathofme .x.

hah what a great word...cantakerous...thats sexy...i like it...im drunk anf im updating for the first time in forever...me anf stef are fucking over for good...she wont stop and see all the thigns SHES done to lead us up to where we are...its still my fault...of course...its always been my fault...i was their little fucking pet...theyd say jump and id say how high...but no...i dont get any thanks for dick all...because im SOOOO sick...because im a normal teenager =)...yeah how lucky of me...eh?...eyah...what garbage this all is...what a waste of my life...jesus...i tried to show her...i tried to make us work...but no...its still me...its still she needed to help me be better...no she needed to have COMPLETE control of my life...thats the only way we would have worked...*rolls eyes* i cant deal with that shit...its retarded...i wanted to go to gay pride with her...but whatever...shes right...she HAS to be right...you know...cuz theres SO much proof of her being right...except EVERYONE agrees that shes mental and i did the right thing...so whatever stef...i hope youre happy...but you prolly went qand killed yourself or something stupid cuz yeah your life is over now isnt it...god...how fucking ridiculous...*shakes head*...

finally sit decides to work for me...but ive been posting in other things...im sorry sit...ive betrayed you...but...YOU SUCK...it like barely ever works...cuz its facking gay...but i still loves it...mhrrmmmm yeha but see now ive already updated soo i have nothing interesting to say... rah .x. deathofme .x.

You Are Smokin' Hot You're a terrible flirt, a sharp dresser, and a party animal. Of course, you're totally sizzling too. And for you, being hot just comes naturally. ***Your Life Path Number is 3*** Your purpose in life is to express your unique self. You are a creative and artistic person with an interesting view on life. Witty and outgoing, you enjoy sharing your crazy ideas with anyone who will listen. A total social butterfly, you're the life of any party. In love, you inspire and enchant your partner. You are often an object of fantasy and desire. While you are very talented, you sometimes lack the ambition to put your talents in play. And while your wit carries you a long way, you occasionally use it to mask your true feelings. Your natural abilities can bring you all the success in the world ... if you let them You Are 70% Weird You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks! You Are a Bright Star Soul Like a shining star, you have no trouble being the center of attention In fact, you often feel a bit hurt when all eyes aren't on you You need to be number one in everything, no matter how trivial And it's this ego that both hurts your confidence and helps you acheive You're dramatic and a powerhouse of pure energy You posess a divine quality or uniqueness that's hard to define A natural performer, it's likely you'll become famous in some circles. Just learn not to take everyone's reaction to you so personally! Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul and Prophet Soul Your Personality Profile You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong. You're an Expert Kisser You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable Your Five Variable Love Profile Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is low. You see love as a gift that you should give to many. It's hard for you to imagine being with one person at at time... Let alone one person for the rest of your life! Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting you way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is medium. You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love... But you've definitely been burned enough to know better. You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist. Independence: Your independence is high. You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love. Having your own life is very important for you... Even more important than having a relationship.

sooooo....hmm whats new with me? im not sure, march break is over...back in school now...which is supremely gay...*nods*...cody has decided all the chicks in shwa are really hot and that if i move back he wants to come...lmao...see what he doesnt realize is that all the hot chicks are already taken...by me....lmao jkjk...or am i? i unno...i think i am...ive got a big baggie of pot in my pocket and im excited...maybe stef wont like eat my face...maybe shell smoke a j then be happy?....im hopin anyways...so...what else is new...uhm i miss oshawa and i miss my friend ables and i miss drunkin phone calls anddd parties and pot smokin at lunch time anddd going to school but not to class annndd park parties with my black people...='( *tears*? yes perhaps...i miss my groupies...my little grd nines and tens that think im god...i miss my homo boys...annndd i miss...hmmm...my freedom?...i unno im pretty much feelin trapped lately...if i move out...shell kill herself...if i stay...shell kill herself...twice this week i caught her trying to choke her selfto death with a noose tightened and wrapped around her neck...first time i didny yhink id be able to loosen it...i thought id lose her right then and there...but no...i saved her and after we smoked pot so i think she was glad i saved her...im not sure what she wants from me...its like no matter what i do shes still mad at me for something...so what am i suppposed to do? all i ever wanted was to make her happy and all she does is fucking hate me...so should i keep trying? or should i give up and go home...home...yeah thats a good one...where the fuck is home...i dont have a home...im just floatin around...i wish i had a home...a place to call my own...i wish i had my own room again...i wish she would just leave me alone sometimes...she always wants to talk but shes always saying the same shit...ive heard it...i know...i know what it is that i do that bothers her...i get it...buyt she still feels the need to jack off on me about it...=(...i dont know what to do anymore...last night we "did it" but it didnt mean anyhting...ut never means anything anymore...shes pretty much admitted to not wanting to kiss me for like reasons unknown...its either she doesnt want to or she doesnt like to...she kissed me lots last night but thats only because we kinda had a fight about it...i know she didnt want to...i know she didnt like it...am i ugly?...i dont think so...i got hot chicks wanting me and thinking im hot...which is no biggie...im not going to cheat on her or anything...its just the idea of it...the idea that ive still got "it" ya know?....i dont know what her problem is and i dont know what to fucking do about it...im about sick of trying to figure it out...i wanna go to where i live and smoke a big fattie...thats what i fucking wanna do...fuck...if anyone has any ideas to help me out with this predicament ive got id love to hear em....anyways... []Deaceeeee....thats hot .x. deathofme .x. ps. i really really miss gregory...i still think about him lots...and i wonder if hes happy where he is...i hope hes still smiling that smile we all know and love...&hearts...

yeah so way for me to not update likeeverrrrr i really neeed to start typing in hurr more often cuuuzzzzz i used to all the time and now i dont....well anyways....ijm currently in journalism...at peci....annnnndddddddd yeah...(living in dummersville) lol...yeahhhh sop it happened i moved....god i think it was a dumb move but good at the same time she is driving me up the fucking wall in every way......*stabs eyes* lol oh welllllll.....im survivin meetin lots of new people......uhmmmm.......i dont know what else to put anymore because i dont care anymooreeeeeeee pooooppppp nigger cunt pee .x. deathofme .x.

soo more fetuses.... mmmm mooo mooo fetus mooo I adopted a cute lil' cow fetus from Fetusmart! fuck my moo fetus this one is stteeffssss stabby pointy fetuss...=) I adopted a cute lil' pointy fetus from Fetusmart! yippee stabby fetus! .x. deathofme .x.

TAYLOR, Gregory - Student at Donevan High School. Suddenly at his home in Oshawa on Wednesday June 8, 2005 at the age of 18. Gregory, beloved son of Stephen Taylor and his wife Sonia Kinach, and Janine and her husband Ken Roy of Port Hope, Loved brother of Sam and Kendra and loved step-brother of Jennifer and Erica. Dearest grandson of Christine Bailey, and Ron and Judy Vivian, and dearest step grandson of Antonina Kinach. Loved nephew of Michael Taylor, Janice Taylor, and Nelson Taylor. Gregory will be deeply missed and remembered fondly by all his loving family and many great friends. Friends may call at the ARMSTRONG FUNERAL HOME, 1243 King Street East, Oshawa on Friday June 10th from 6-9pm. A Order of Funeral Rite and celebration of Gregory’s life will be held in the chapel of the funeral home on Saturday June 11th at 3pm. Cremation. Memorial donations to Children’s Wish Foundation or the Charity of choice would be greatly appreciated by Gregory’s family. -gregory was the nicest most generous just all around awesome guy sooo i dunno...i wanna dedicate an entry to him... i also decided that i wanted to put his msn profiley thinger in here, i guess it will always help me remember how great a guy he really was. trippin_in_reality My Picture My MD Category Interests Books Poetry Rock & Pop Fitness Drugs & Medicines South America Buddhism Other spirituality Alternative Science Social Sciences My Stats Name Greg Taylor Age 18 Gender Male Marital Status Single and looking Location oshawa, Ontario, Canada Occupation student There is more about me below... A Little About Me i write, one day ill put all the gibberish together and try to publish a bunch of silly ideas. i think too much i read good books and poetry i play guitar, but i dont practice i practice meditation and balance Favorite Things allen ginsberg william s burroughs jack kerouac timothy leary hendrix zeppelin floyd the doors calgary kelowna canmore the ocean not here et cetera Hobbies and Interests writing reading analyzing all the glib remarks playing guitar looking at the stars Favorite Quote "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom" -William Blake "See that quadrangle there? That's Tex Mex." - william Burroughs i will never ever forget our secret pot smoking areas and your taichi in the forest annddd the jack daniels in walmart annndddd....oi tooo many awesome memories my friend...missing you all the time...im sorry we kinda stopped talking for awhile...[itwsfiwkh] .x. deathofme .x.

yes anyways...i spent friday night in detox...isnt that so fucking awesome? yah no...lol...anyways...stef and i are ok now.. i think...nikci still wants me..and is trying pretty damn hard...i ditched her last night...*shrugs* yeah well...i saw stef today for like the first time in like a week...i went to leave and she like attacked me at the door...i was caught off guard and with her tongue in my throat i almost fell over...good times?...oi...sooo i REALLY dont wanna go to school tomorrow...its gay...maybe ill just go...but not go to class...*shrugs* i dont know...i miss stef again...*thumbs down* i think i wanna go out for a bit...yes...i shall indeedy....omg that was the gayest thing ever... .x. deathofme .x.

everything = bullshit I think relationships suck fucking assy nuts…I don’t understand…maybe I should just die…or…something…its cuz im a complete asshole isn’t it…oh well…I don’t give a fuck anymore…im getting an apartment with my mom and her bf and stef soon…may 1st…I want out of my house now…because my dads a jerkoff face…annndddd we all know its true…why are things so goddamn confusing…stefs pissed at me…her dad thinks im the devil or something…and im just here…I wonder what would happen if I just stopped caring…if I stopped being social…stopped having friends…stopped having a life…cut everything out of mylife and became a mindless loner…I think it would be great…because…then there would be no worries…I used to be like that…then I changed and im starting to really fucking hate it…I cant really get into detail…because stupid retards in class are reading over my shoulder…so that’s it for now… .x. deathofme .x.

i must update soon...but i have school...sooo ill do it after...i must remember.... .x. deathfofme .x.

ok so sits a mutha fucka...i just wrote this huge fucking entry and it like fucked up and didnt show...basically it was me talking about how much i love my gf and how much i wish i could fix everything for her because i dont wanna lose her...and how ironic it is that i used to be in her situation and all i wanted was someone to help,understand,listen...but now its all different and i usually am good at giving advice but im completely lost on all this...i suckkkkkkkk... i love her with all my heart...i never want to lose her i honestly believe shes the one i could spend the rest of my life with...i hate how things fall together the way they do...if she dies...ill kill myself...yes ok soooo the entry before waas more organized and made perfect sense this one just thrown togetehr *shrugs*...i wish i could fix everything... .x. deathofme .x.

didnt go to school today...couldnt be bothered...its not the fact that i was up until like 4 crying...its more the fact that i couldnt face shit...lets talk about wall paper....say theres this wall paper...that you wanna buy....and its like the best wallpaper ever...but you cant buy it cuz you cant afford it...sooo you settle with this other wallpaper thats nice too...and you love this current wallpaper...but then the wall paper youve wanted for like ever goes on sale...but youve already gone through the work of putting this wallpaper up and now you just cant get the other wall paper...i know this sounds like....really stupid but it has mean i promise...lol...i just dont wanna use names or any shit...so yeah...not that anyone will understand that....even if i did use names... direct heart wrenching pain....is a bitch...but so is the kind were is nags at you like chewing your arteries attached to your heart etc...until you breakdown and cant take it anymore...it should eat me....i hate this so much...the expensive wallpaper is destroying me....and the wallpaper i already have doesnt even know it....gawd im pathetic...all i can think about is silver bullet...in a gun....to my head...gone....*sighs* yeah anyways we all know i cant do that...but whatever....everything is stupid and i sound sooo emo right now....fackkkk .x. deathofme .x.

i hate christmas...with like a passion...the whole family getting together thing...exchanging gifts and being all lovey...just because its some fucker named jesus' birthday...pah...i think they can cram it up their ass...i hate my gene pool and family gatherings...its so OVERRATED...and it should die...i could do without presents and shit...i really couldnt care less about it all...it also interupts with my social life...which is so hetero...whatever...enough of my redundant bitching...i am done now...oh yeah right...im might be able to see cassie over the christmas holidays...shes doing alot better but shs got like the mental capacity of an 11 year old...:(...i still love her...and no matter what ill still consider her my bestfriend...oi...all this shit makes my brain hurt....i need cancer and a coffee...so now i am done...bye bye and shit... .x. deathofme .x.

fuck...ok sooo a couple days ago cassie hung herself...when i found out i almost puked...the next day alot of people were crying and shit...thenn the day after that...crystal OD's...so then shes in the fucking hospital too....the day after that...stepanies put into the hospital for her own safety...and crystals dragged outta the school by the fucking cops...after all that shit i had like a mental breakdown in school...so they called my dad...and he came to take me home and i refused to go with him...what they dont realize is all my dad would do is ground me for awhile and not let me go out...which doesnt help...at all...it just makes everything fucking worse...i need to be amongst friends and shit...but i cant do that when im not allowed to go to school...and im not allowed to go out...i still havent slept...and i still havent eaten...soon enough im going to wither away to nothing...how pleasant....fucking stupid everything...i swear "god" finds all this shit entertaining...he puts us through all this fucking cunt whore stuff because he is very amused by our emotional fucking pain...yeah "god" loves us...whatever he can fucking like my fucking clit for all i fucking care...oh and one more thing...i cant even go see cassie in the hospital because of the whole cant be within 500 yeards of her thing...as if were gonna change any fucking stories...stupid fucking cops...i hate them fucking all...maybe i can like...disappear for a couple days...til all this shit fucking blows over...*sighs*....fucking fuck... .x. deathofme .x.

steph annnddd maaxxxx< 333 and i are going to see the grudge tonight....thisll be my second timeeee....oh well i fucking love that movie its my sex...liiikkeee gingersnaps 1,2 annnd 3...fuckijng right doggie...omfg i found 10 fuckin bucks in the mall parking lot....i feel so priviledged and shitteee....ok sooo i have nothing better to talk about really....so maybe i should shut my face?....yeah okkk....bye bye for now.... .x. deathofme .x.

yeah im getting 69 in math...im so cool...lol...hmmm max asked me out last night soooo now were going out?...now i feel even worse about missing his birthday....18th...same as ashleys...weirdddd.....mlleeehhh...anyways...ummm im @ stephs....soooo ill cut this short....bye bye for now .x. deathofme .x.

LMAO....haha....after school cassie put a cigarette out on crystals face...i like yelled at them to not fight but there was really nothing i could do...it was quite amusing tho so i cant complain....definitely my highlight of the day....besides the fact that i slept in tillll 10:30 then went to school at lunch...oh well...fucker im being forced to go to st catherines this weekend...and im going to miss maxxx's birfday :(...i feel bad...but whatever....its my own fault....im dumb :)...ill just like stay on the computer all weekend...and avoid everyone...and such...stupid humans...i hate my gene pool...*sighs*....oh well same pile different SHIT...:( r.i.p. andy :(....love you...stupid reminders...yeaaahh...anyways...i cut again the other night....after like a month and a half of not...fuck i suck...hmm it gets deeper/in greater amounts everytime...nto very safe...but then again when have i ever cared about my safety...*shrugs*...anyways...im rambling again...good night ppls...im done .x. deathofme .x.

everything seems to be falling through....everything was going good...now...its fuckity...i dunno and im not going to get into details cuz its dumb...but fuck...rawr rawr rawr rawr gwar gabar?...i need money...cuz i need smokes?...i could always go do what i always do and pan handle...lol...its fun actually...meet new ppls :)...blah...anyways...i feel like getting drunk or high or something...but im really too lazy and im trying to quit that shit...not as easy as i thought it'd be...especially when its all around...*shrugs* whatever i have a strong will...i can hold back...i dont even see any point in anything anymore tho...its all fuckityyyyy like i said b4...loll....talk about repeatitive...anyways...im going to stop talking nonsense...but b4 i finish i must include the fact that i thought some chics teeth were blue and i was completely sober....too funny...anyways...bye? .x. deathofme .x.

hmmm...poor lurch...his friend hung himself the other day...it reminds me of andy...i love you andy and continue to r.i.p....july 30th is a day ill never forget...and your a person no one can forget......wow im supposed to be at school...its 10 am....oh well im too lazy and too blah to have the energy to move...so ill sit in my own self pity and such...or...ill drag my sorry ass to the hormonal toilet they call school...rawr rawr rawr rawr gwar gabar im done...lol... .x. deathofme .x.