sooooo....hmm whats new with me? im not sure, march break is over...back in school now...which is supremely gay...*nods*...cody has decided all the chicks in shwa are really hot and that if i move back he wants to come...lmao...see what he doesnt realize is that all the hot chicks are already taken...by me....lmao jkjk...or am i? i unno...i think i am...ive got a big baggie of pot in my pocket and im excited...maybe stef wont like eat my face...maybe shell smoke a j then be happy?....im hopin anyways...so...what else is new...uhm i miss oshawa and i miss my friend ables and i miss drunkin phone calls anddd parties and pot smokin at lunch time anddd going to school but not to class annndd park parties with my black people...='( *tears*? yes perhaps...i miss my groupies...my little grd nines and tens that think im god...i miss my homo boys...annndd i miss...hmmm...my freedom?...i unno im pretty much feelin trapped lately...if i move out...shell kill herself...if i stay...shell kill herself...twice this week i caught her trying to choke her selfto death with a noose tightened and wrapped around her neck...first time i didny yhink id be able to loosen it...i thought id lose her right then and there...but no...i saved her and after we smoked pot so i think she was glad i saved her...im not sure what she wants from me...its like no matter what i do shes still mad at me for something...so what am i suppposed to do? all i ever wanted was to make her happy and all she does is fucking hate me...so should i keep trying? or should i give up and go home...home...yeah thats a good one...where the fuck is home...i dont have a home...im just floatin around...i wish i had a home...a place to call my own...i wish i had my own room again...i wish she would just leave me alone sometimes...she always wants to talk but shes always saying the same shit...ive heard it...i know...i know what it is that i do that bothers her...i get it...buyt she still feels the need to jack off on me about it...=(...i dont know what to do anymore...last night we "did it" but it didnt mean anyhting...ut never means anything anymore...shes pretty much admitted to not wanting to kiss me for like reasons unknown...its either she doesnt want to or she doesnt like to...she kissed me lots last night but thats only because we kinda had a fight about it...i know she didnt want to...i know she didnt like it...am i ugly?...i dont think so...i got hot chicks wanting me and thinking im hot...which is no biggie...im not going to cheat on her or anything...its just the idea of it...the idea that ive still got "it" ya know?....i dont know what her problem is and i dont know what to fucking do about it...im about sick of trying to figure it out...i wanna go to where i live and smoke a big fattie...thats what i fucking wanna do...fuck...if anyone has any ideas to help me out with this predicament ive got id love to hear em....anyways... []Deaceeeee....thats hot .x. deathofme .x. ps. i really really miss gregory...i still think about him lots...and i wonder if hes happy where he is...i hope hes still smiling that smile we all know and love...&hearts...