didnt go to school today...couldnt be bothered...its not the fact that i was up until like 4 crying...its more the fact that i couldnt face shit...lets talk about wall paper....say theres this wall paper...that you wanna buy....and its like the best wallpaper ever...but you cant buy it cuz you cant afford it...sooo you settle with this other wallpaper thats nice too...and you love this current wallpaper...but then the wall paper youve wanted for like ever goes on sale...but youve already gone through the work of putting this wallpaper up and now you just cant get the other wall paper...i know this sounds like....really stupid but it has mean i promise...lol...i just dont wanna use names or any shit...so yeah...not that anyone will understand that....even if i did use names... direct heart wrenching pain....is a bitch...but so is the kind were is nags at you like chewing your arteries attached to your heart etc...until you breakdown and cant take it anymore...it should eat me....i hate this so much...the expensive wallpaper is destroying me....and the wallpaper i already have doesnt even know it....gawd im pathetic...all i can think about is silver bullet...in a gun....to my head...gone....*sighs* yeah anyways we all know i cant do that...but whatever....everything is stupid and i sound sooo emo right now....fackkkk .x. deathofme .x.