geez...i ran out of clever titles hence the uhh.... ne ways....very bored. been bored. all weekend. didn't get to go to that show. have to babysit tomorrow. have practice the rest of the week so i cant really do ne thing. im really contemplating goin on that deca trip tomorrow last minute. seems a lot more fun then doin nuthin over here. we went to out to eat today...it was one of them days when u dont eat all day then when u do, u eat too much and wish u hadn't ate at all. didnt feel too nice i must say. oh yea went to the skate park the other day as well. man some of them kids are like...whoa lol. its hard enough for me to stand on them boards without falling and these kids just...yea...thats somethin i just have to realize i will never be able to do. my grandma...got her lung worked on not too long ago. i seen her ONCE since then cuz my damn parents cant get their heads out of their asses. i mean i love my mom more than ne thing dont get me wrong. i would literally be lost without her...but shes just so...young when it comes to this 'big people stuff' ha... its weird cuz like she seriously comes to me now to tell her what she should do or when she just tells me whats going on i have to talk some sense into her and let her know whats really going on since she seems so blind to it. ne ways what that has to do with gma is since gma is always the one who helps my mom out when my dad whacks out on her and my mom consistently returns to him, shes pretty much gotten fed up with it considering this last time my mom almost died. so becuz she is upset at my mom...instead of tryin to fix the situation she has decided to avoid her at all costs and becuz we are always with her that means we cant see her as well. it really irritates me but, shit... i mean i just wanna see how shes doin. last time...she wasnt lookin too good. and she wasnt in the best shape in the first place. its kills me but i don't know how much longer she has left and not being able to spend with her what she has left... i dunno its just scary. fuck cancer. well im out guys....later.