i just tried getting onto my girlfriend's journal and apparentley i'm no longer a friend, i'm not sure if she has any on there anymore. why must i feel this horrible hurting paranoia. it's never fun to feel and i hope you never have to feel that. her latest entry is entitled "whatever" that lets my mind create the worst case scenario if i've ever had one. why? i don't think i should be paranoid about that but that's what paranoia is. it's a wierd situation. never good, always that ripping, sinking, horrible, worthless, gut-wrenching, paranoid feeling. WHY??!! god i hate this. and then paranoia makes you question who someone really is. that has already happened to us when i was being a dick-head and broke up with her for no apparent reason. GOD DAMN GOD DAMN GOD DAMN! sorry, just a little frustration in there too. i don't think i need to worry since we've been doing quite well actually. we went to the movies over the weekend and i went to her house yesterday. i wrote her a couple notes that she thanked me for and wrote me back saying how much she loves me and everything. derf! derfity derf derf derfin! ah, speaking derfish is much fun, you should try it. anyways, i'll sit here and be paranoid for another hour and fifteen minutes, until i can ask her about it. why must time keep us apart. it directs everyones lives and tells everyone what to do. DAMMIT!! solice