so, my girlfriend came over yesterday, and we had the best time ever. now, for all you perverts out there, or the people who misinterpret what you may see at school, we weren't making love or any of that shit. we were laying in my backyard looking at the stars. we just layed there and talked about....life. that's what is so cool about this woman. is that she listens to me, and will talk to me about anything. that's what we do. for those who think we make out 24 7......FUCK YOU AND BURN IN HELL. go die of cancer or something. i'm pretty fucking surprised that you bastards haven't dropped it yet, isn't it getting the slightest bit old. anyway, yeah, it was amazing. we just layed there gazing at the sky thinking about life and our future, and everything we hope our lives will be. we talked of love, friendship, and death. particulary my suicide attempts and such. it was rather emotional but it was something good to talk about. we both know that will never happen again because i have a reason to be here now. the reason is her, her love, and her understanding of who i am. not just some toy or someone you care about but wouldn't help if they needed it. she truely cares about me and i feel the same way about her. i love her so much and am never losing that feeling. it's so gay right now. i can't talk to her because her dad didn't want her on the phone, god, so gay. i really need to talk to her too because i'm leaving tomorrow and the talk of me leaving next weekend was just brought up before we had to get off, so we couldn't discuss it that much. kinda the "to be continued..." except it hurts so much because you worry about things, and you shouldn't. i know i don't need to but i do anyway. it's just the way other people have made me, especially beth. she made me question whether or not i deserve to live, so yes, she was the reason i tried to kill myself for all you wondering. well, i'm going to try and call my love in a little while and see how things go from there. Gazing at the sky with her was the best experience i've had and i wish all the little shits that think we make out all the time could've been there. just to see that we don't. i wish someone else could understand but no one will understand the pure, unceasing, heart-felt, passionate, inexorbable, justifiable, love i have for that woman. byes for now. Adam