So it's saturday night. Once upon a time I would be treking the streets of my favorite party spots and having fun with my friends. instead I am here, typing on Sitdiary about to bitch yet again about my horrid excuse for a life. So strap on your willies and lets wade through my foolish exsistence shall we?

I had a scrap of good news this week though, a family member of mine offered to pay for a class for me so I could get a shot at a job i can support myself on. I was SO excited and happy the thing I have been praying for finally tossed itself on my doorstep and I tell you I am ready to snap it up like an angry ferret. But like most good things in my life, my run to the finish line is brought to a screeching halt.

I am staring at a difficult choice right now. Because my parents are such fuck ups they have fallen behind on my little brothers school payments. (he goes to a private school because they were tearing him to pieces in public) so now his option is yet again homeschooling. Which unless you have parents who are active in the homeschooling process (and I promise you mine aren't) you basically have a kid who falls behind and becomes extrememly anti social. Which for my little brother is a bad thing. Every kid in this family has fucked up there lives because of school except for this brother he is smart and a good student and this place has helped him soooo much. i am affraid for him had I any sense at that age I would have stayed in school and off the drugs. He is a really goood kid, he could actually make something of himself even with his attiitude. My choice you say? After my long winded attempt at you trying to get you to grasp why I even have this choice, why I have to stop and not grab this money and run.

Well here it is: Do I give him the money and pay off his school debt and a few months more of school and pray these assholes get there shit together or do I keep it and hope and pray they do right by their last hope at a successful child?

Easy some might say, "Why not take the money and force the assholes to pay for him?" "why not be there for him for the home schooling?" "Why even think this a choice when he may only have a few more months of school anyway?" the answer is simple, in order.

-they won't

-He isn't my kid

-A fool hearted attempt at giving them some time to get their shit together?

I won't even get into what it would do to my future if I don't take this money and use it for me. Don't get me wrong I am by no means being nooble or anything...I just don't want anyone else close to me to have to suffer the bullshit I am dealing with right now.

Hopefully after this bottle of wine I will find clarity....or a hangover. Cheers.