I'm sitting here.. Thinking about my life.. The things my dad has put me through. All the times I wanted to stand up and shout at him. All the times I did. I remember his reactions to those as if they happened minutes ago. I don't understand how a person who claims to love you could hurt you so badly. I sometimes wonder if they just enjoy it? Enjoy hurting people so much that they get some kind of sick pleasure out of injuring someone they love. I remember after some of our fights... Him calling a big "family meeting" one where we were allowed to talk too.. But by that time everyone was too scared to say anything. We'd all come to the table... Usually my mom or I would show up with puffy faces and tears trickling from our eyes. Bruises beginning to form and hatred growing in our hearts. He'd tell us how much he loved us and how sorry he was. About how things were going to be diffferent. How he'd never hit us again. I remember the day my dad left my mom. It was as if she'd been spared. I was so happy for her but at the same time I was scared. My father never hit my brother.. my older sister. He seemed to reserve his anger for my mother and I. I remember yelling at him to leave her alone.. And being thrown across the room as if I were nothing but a rag doll.. Watching him punch a hole through the bathroom door so he could get to my mother. It makes me wonder why we always hurt the ones we love. Is it gods predesigned plan? Does he even exist? If so why would he allow his children to be hurt so badly? .. I dunno these are just my thoughts.. Pay no mind.. Other then that... After thinking some of these thoughts.. I had the urge to call my lifeline.. so I got off the net earlier to call my best friend. My sister came out while I was on the phone with her. I was commanded to get off the phone like I'm some kind of slave. I did it.. Shopping late at night is always fun. We go grab soda and drop it off here at the house for David's study group. Then we go pick up Nick and go shopping. I have never felt so smart in my entire life. My sister was really lost.. Nick was no help. Once when we stopped to pick up trash bags... They debated the difference between trash bags.. and tall kitchen bags. They're the same thing... basically other then color size and brand. But come on guys.. They thought that you put the trash bags inside the tall kitchen bags... and then threw out only the trash bags... I was trying so hard not to laugh. lol So other then the incredibly stupid comments, the relevation that my sister's co-worker is infatuated with her... (What does she expect when her shirt shows so much cleavage it practically shows her bra...? But to top that off.. It's see-through.. Come on Stephy use your brain) When I pointed out it was see-through she freaked out like she didn't know it. I'm her little sister. I know her well enough to know that she realizes when things are see-through and aren't. But anyways... We had a conversation about healthy foods and my insistance on drinking clear soda.. She doesn't get it... and decides to make fun of me.. Calls me a fat cow.. and then decides it's no fun when I don't argue with her. We finish are shopping trip and head out. Drive Nick to his house and help him carry in his "health" food. My sister asks about the plant he's watering.. "Is it real?" Do they water fake plants? I don't know the whole night I was trying to control my laughter. I guess I had a lot of fun. We go down stairs to leave.. and she's not paying attention. Backs up the car... and hits a parked car... lol Good huh? She floors it... Doesn't stop to make sure the car is alright.. Not dented or anything. Insists we're being followed the entire way home. Shouts "I need to call my mommy where's my fucking phone?" My calm response is, "She's my mom too. Phones in your lap.. Take a deep breath... He isn't following us. Promise." Turns out he wasn't. Phone was in her lap... and she most deffinately is my mom too. I look more like our mom then she does. I'm not allowed to tell David about our shopping experience.. Or inform him that she backed his car into a parked one. I figured I'd share with you all.