So... Like.. I don't know.. I wonder when I get to the point where I quit believing that some people actually tell the truth and that I'm not the only one in the entire universe? When I quit trying to rationalize why things happen and accept that they just do..? Probably never... I think it's stupid.. that I let things hurt me so easily.. that a word from someone I'm supposed to trust could bring me to tears.. But things like being thrown through a wall have ceased to hurt me. I'm pathetic.. To say the least.. N even the slightest thought has brought me to tears... Today, I remembered what happened after I was mollested... I'm sure I never forgot this, however... It haunts me still. I remember distinctly how my dad had screamed and yelled... and beat the shit out of me.. Because I let it happen... N my mom expressed her extreme hatred of me... But whatever.. It's nothing right.. Just a memory of the past.. A useless one at that.. And yet again I'm crying.. What the hell is my problem? Why can't I be normal...??? Fuck.. Okay.. I'll shut up now before I really do become a mess.. I've already taken off my make up once today.. I don't need to do it again.. I'll just go back to praying for hell to swallow me whole... It could only be better than this.. That is if it even exists and I'm not already living it. Roxy