well, it's been a while since i wrote in this thing. my FOD actually started working properly so i posted entries there..but yea, once again it's being gay so that's why i'm posting here. anyway hmm..on the last entry i said something about going to a franklin graham crusade thing. that was awesome to say the least. it was pouring down rain and by the end of the night i was soaked and cold, but it was one of the best nights of my life. 3 weeks of school left..well like 2 1/2 but yea, i'm ready for the school year to be over. i slacked off this year and now it's finally coming back to kick me in the butt. it's my fault though, so i won't complain. lets just say i have VERY LITTLE time to bring up my not so awesome grades. but oh well, i'll do what i can and be satisfied with that. i went to west virginia the 15-18 and that was awesome. im tired, but im doing awesome. i learned a lot this weekend; about myself, about my mom, about those around me, and about God. so this trip did me a lot of good, and things started to sink in and i think i finally snapped out of me numb, giving up kind of mood and am really going to start living it all or nothing, and each day like it's my last. i've seen too many people fall into the downward spiral of self-destruction, even myself, and i finally just stopped trying to do things my way, and finally let God take over. i don't know why i didn't turn to God sooner. i don't know why i allowed myself to go through the things i did, knowing it was hurting me worse; and especially hurting those around me. but i'm glad God saved me, and i'm glad to be back in His arms. so yea, i won't bore you with the details of my trip. the main thing is i got to be around people i love, and i've finally gotten right with God; i've finally given Him ALL of me. it was a hard thing to do, and it took me forever to just surrender, but i'm glad i did and now i don't know why i waited so long. this awesome joy, and peaceful feeling the Lord has placed in me is beyond awesome and i can't describe it. i know hardly anyone reads this (or anyone that knows me at least), but i want to thank each and every person who has ever spoken to me, whether it be encouragement or discouragement. God has placed everyone i've ever crossed paths with in my life for a reason, and i just want to say thanks for helping me get to where i am today, thanks for making my life better. maybe i didn't realize it at the time just how important you were in my life, but i want to say that i realize it now and i am truly blessed to know all of you. special thanks to a few certain people (you know who you are) for always being there, even when i made it extrememly difficult. thanks for standing with me, holding my hand, encouraging me through the storms of life, and seeing me through to the other side. i wouldn't have made it through, to see the beautiful rainbows this life has to offer, if it wasn't for you. so i just wanted to take a minute to let you know that you have made a difference in my life, and i love you all. i'll leave on that..take it easy and God bless you all